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Thursday, 23 June 2011

How Low Do You Go?

Now I will be honest, I was in two minds about writing the following post, and was advised against it. After much mental debate, I figured that many of our followers will understand and agree that The BDSS blog is real, so real in fact that me and my ladies share our lives, thoughts and opinions with you weekly, therefore my posts will continue to be ‘real’, even when the topic such as this one is a 'taboo'. Some of my posts are not for people of a sensitive disposition (this is one of them), therefore if this is you please look away now, and I will catch you next week when I’m not being so naughty!

A few weeks back I was thinking about sex and the taboos surrounded it, some of us are open about our attitudes towards sex, whereas others prefer to keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves - quite rightly so, to each their own. This particular day it struck me that there is much debate surrounding oral sex, plus different stereo-types between men and women who do this. Unlike different sexual positions etc people generally aren’t so open in divulging whether they go down town or not.  I began to wonder why this was? Many people claim to enjoy oral sex, but where does the rationale of these stereo-types stem from?

Whenever I’m in a rave and the bashment set licks, like moths to light, me and my girls are whiling out on the dance floor. Every so often a bashment lyric catches my ears and I reflect. Now lets take Vybz Kartel’s song ‘Picture This’, as expected Vybz’s lyrics are raw, going into his usual sexual exploits, but there is one place this Rasta Man nah tread  like so many other  male bashment artists, and that is giving oral stimulation to a woman:
Because me no gummie bear nar kissyfur
But I like the way you shake it right thurr
So tun back way make me get fi enter di center.


Me no chocolate, bad man tongue nah forklift
You have fi ask if God blessed me wit a gift, ha ha!

Sometimes I let out a chuckle when hearing lyrics such as this, because I know so many ears are ringing up in the club when certain men hear these tunes. Yes they may know the lyrics back to back, trying to front, like they will never go down, truth is I think many men at least try it, even Vybz! Yes I said it, I know of toooooo many Rasta man that claim they don’t yam the flesh, but through girlie reporting have found nuff that do, in fact I’ve heard more men dabbling than men who don’t, so I can’t see what the shame is. Maybe it’s because it’s seen as weak, like their woman is running them I don’t know, but speaking to a few of my friends I know not many men admit to it, but loads do it. Some women cannot actually reach a proper orgasm without clitoral stimulation so it is actually a good thing (for us women!) I even know of a few ladies who have been with men for months without any tongue action, and resided themselves to a future of no cunnillingus, and then suddenly like pro footballers, these men have sprung oral hat tricks! These sort of men are ‘Tongue Snakes’, waiting until they feel that they can trust a woman or until they know the lady is wifey material, so they know she won’t blab to everyone who will listen that she’s getting head.

What happened to the days when men were all about pleasing us ladies in anyway necessary, and were open about it?! I use to love peaches and Cream by 112, now these men know what I’m talking about hehehe!

Or the classic tune ‘My Neck My Back’, Khia’s only hit in this country so it must have hit a nerve with more than a few of us….

Now when I was younger if a girl gave a guy a blow job and she wasn’t his girlfriend  she sometimes got a reputation for being ‘easy’, more often than not the guy receiving it was hailed a hero. Guys will blatantly admit to receiving fallatio but generally won’t divulge what they sometimes do in return. Going back to bashment artists, they will berate men who give cunnilingus but I’m assuming the fact that they never seem to berate women doing fallatio means that it’s ok? Now us women know you men LOVE head, some women of course don’t mind doing it, others of course won’t do it, and there are the inbetweeners who will do it only on under special circumstances, and furthermore for very special people. I love Chris Rock because he hit’s the nail on the head with this one. I have purposely not shared any personal experiences in this post lol but my description is definitely there….

So ladies what do you think to the whole oral sex debate? Do you think it’s a necessity? Do you even like it? Gents are you undercover when it comes to oral sex? If so why? Is it important to you?



  1. Very interesting read, I will comment later!

  2. Thanks for the post Bi, personally i have no issue to saying i do cunnilingus. Matter of fact i enjoy it. I couldn't care less what other men say or think about it, they just don't know what/how to do it and are selfish in bed. Cunnilingus makes the sex much better, due to the fact that after she has an oral orgasm or two, her entire body automatically becomes much more receptive, increasing her pleasure zones to unimaginable proportions. That's me having a great time, don't care what other "boys" think.


  3. Cunnilingus all day eff the posturing stats, keep it 69! eat pussy and don't make such a moral fuss about it.

    "... a girl gave a guy a blow job and she wasn’t his girlfriend ..."

    that made me laugh, in my younger days we used to call it "shining the masses"

  4. I'm loving the honesty! Lol

  5. @Kes it's soooo refreshing to have a guy share his thoughts thanks! :) @Chrome whoi 69 hey! You tell em! Gosh your bringing bach my old skool words, suckhood, shiner, knowledge hahaha

  6. Good post!! Im 32 and havent heard a man say in a while I dont do that and never would, i havent met a female for a long time that has say they dont do it and never would either.

    I know all of my friends who have, and enjoy it, and I know all of my friends who have at least tried it and its not for them.

    So i kinda associate Men/Women who say "no i dont do that" as being young, as i was young when i last heard people deny ever going down.

    Maybe my mind set is wrong but i would find it strange if I met an adult who said they have never done it and never would. Infact i would just take that as a lie.

  7. That chris rock video is hilarious LMAO!

    He is a comical genius "umm excuse me, excuse me can I make a request" lol!

    I think he is right in that there are different categories, some love to give it (I'm not in this category), some will not do it at all, and other will do it just to shut a man up! lol!

    I think everyone likes to receive it and I think that once you've had some good head especially for a woman where your able to climax I think your going to want to have it again and again. I'm not sure I'd be completely sexually satisfied with a partner who 100% doesn't do it, as I've experienced it, I know how great it feels, so I know I'd miss it if it was not available. Was it chris rock who said that men can't go back sexually, while women can't go back in lifestyle? I think the same sexually is true for women as well.

    This post highlights to me that its a brave woman to admit she goes downtown on a blog as if this is seen by your family, work colleagues, neighbours or whoever you'll be judged harshly lol! However a guy says it and all the women readers are swooning, this is sexual double standards.

  8. Hahaha love this post oral sex for me never enjoyed it so much very liberating......this action is an important part of foreplay as it allows me to feel a real connection with the other person. I suppose this isn't quite fair but even more so lately I rate my sexual partner on the ability to service my pudenda 100% to the point where they can make me explode...there's a plethra of things one can explore with oral sex intutively we all have very erotic and sensual imaginations and need to tap in on point having juki juki without full satisfaction and contentment:))

    Although unfortunately I think oral sex is viewed in a very vulgar manner and most often by those who have not tried and tested......we have to remember as much as being pleasured you gotta pleasure the other party too this aint about being selfish...

    Funny I have a friend who likes to give but can't contemplate the idea of someone going down on her hmmmmm perhaps thats more an issue with her rather than the act itself...

  9. I think it's necessary (in a committed relationship anyways) to at least try to give, most certainly if you're receiving (which I might add, I've been fortunate over the years lol!)

    I suppose whatever is in your capability and makes your partner happy is perfect acceptable - taboo or not and from no one chokes. . . :D