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Call us the cast of 'Drama´s in the Borough' (as opposed to Sex and the City!!) For over a decade, we've all laughed, cried, argued and debated together in person, over the phone & via email. BDSS is an online version of what we do best; right down to the glass of wine that's always lurking around!!
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Thursday, 23 June 2011
How Low Do You Go?
Now I will be honest, I was in two minds about writing the following post, and was advised against it. After much mental debate, I figured that many of our followers will understand and agree that The BDSS blog is real, so real in fact that me and my ladies share our lives, thoughts and opinions with you weekly, therefore my posts will continue to be ‘real’, even when the topic such as this one is a 'taboo'. Some of my posts are not for people of a sensitive disposition (this is one of them), therefore if this is you please look away now, and I will catch you next week when I’m not being so naughty!
A few weeks back I was thinking about sex and the taboos surrounded it, some of us are open about our attitudes towards sex, whereas others prefer to keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves - quite rightly so, to each their own. This particular day it struck me that there is much debate surrounding oral sex, plus different stereo-types between men and women who do this. Unlike different sexual positions etc people generally aren’t so open in divulging whether they go down town or not. I began to wonder why this was? Many people claim to enjoy oral sex, but where does the rationale of these stereo-types stem from?
Whenever I’m in a rave and the bashment set licks, like moths to light, me and my girls are whiling out on the dance floor. Every so often a bashment lyric catches my ears and I reflect. Now lets take Vybz Kartel’s song ‘Picture This’, as expected Vybz’s lyrics are raw, going into his usual sexual exploits, but there is one place this Rasta Man nah tread like so many other male bashment artists, and that is giving oral stimulation to a woman:
Because me no gummie bear nar kissyfur
But I like the way you shake it right thurr
So tun back way make me get fi enter di center.
Me no chocolate, bad man tongue nah forklift
You have fi ask if God blessed me wit a gift, ha ha!
Sometimes I let out a chuckle when hearing lyrics such as this, because I know so many ears are ringing up in the club when certain men hear these tunes. Yes they may know the lyrics back to back, trying to front, like they will never go down, truth is I think many men at least try it, even Vybz! Yes I said it, I know of toooooo many Rasta man that claim they don’t yam the flesh, but through girlie reporting have found nuff that do, in fact I’ve heard more men dabbling than men who don’t, so I can’t see what the shame is. Maybe it’s because it’s seen as weak, like their woman is running them I don’t know, but speaking to a few of my friends I know not many men admit to it, but loads do it. Some women cannot actually reach a proper orgasm without clitoral stimulation so it is actually a good thing (for us women!) I even know of a few ladies who have been with men for months without any tongue action, and resided themselves to a future of no cunnillingus, and then suddenly like pro footballers, these men have sprung oral hat tricks! These sort of men are ‘Tongue Snakes’, waiting until they feel that they can trust a woman or until they know the lady is wifey material, so they know she won’t blab to everyone who will listen that she’s getting head.
What happened to the days when men were all about pleasing us ladies in anyway necessary, and were open about it?! I use to love peaches and Cream by 112, now these men know what I’m talking about hehehe!
Or the classic tune ‘My Neck My Back’, Khia’s only hit in this country so it must have hit a nerve with more than a few of us….
Now when I was younger if a girl gave a guy a blow job and she wasn’t his girlfriend she sometimes got a reputation for being ‘easy’, more often than not the guy receiving it was hailed a hero. Guys will blatantly admit to receiving fallatio but generally won’t divulge what they sometimes do in return. Going back to bashment artists, they will berate men who give cunnilingus but I’m assuming the fact that they never seem to berate women doing fallatio means that it’s ok? Now us women know you men LOVE head, some women of course don’t mind doing it, others of course won’t do it, and there are the inbetweeners who will do it only on under special circumstances, and furthermore for very special people. I love Chris Rock because he hit’s the nail on the head with this one. I have purposely not shared any personal experiences in this post lol but my description is definitely there….
So ladies what do you think to the whole oral sex debate? Do you think it’s a necessity? Do you even like it? Gents are you undercover when it comes to oral sex? If so why? Is it important to you?