Let's talk about sex baby okay salt & pepa!
So I was reading in femail magazine last week, that there are women who can think themselves to orgasm (are you one of these women do tell?), so I thought oh yes this is a must read article, maybe they have included a step by step guide to achieving this (who wouldn't want to orgasm at any moment of your choosing, in the supermarket, during a boring telephone conference at work these are just some examples of places, you can probably think of more orthodox places ie in the bedroom but my point is that you could knock yourself out orgasming all over the place! All day if you had a day off ; ) that would be fun but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be, there followed an article talking about how a scientist has been investigating the female orgasm and how the few women that are able to bring themselves to orgasm by thinking, when their brains were studied they found that the same area's that show activity when a woman has a physical orgasm, were showing in these lucky thinking orgasm women yada yada yada boring!
No instructions were included at all :(
But it got me wondering how important is the orgasm to enjoyable sex? I read a lot of Dear Deirdre problem pages, and there is always a problem which goes along the lines of:
“I wonder if you can help me I can not orgasm when I have sex with my gorgeous boyfriend help!”
or from a partner saying
“my girlfriend/wife never orgasms when we have sex I worry that she is not enjoying it”
Surely you can have enjoyable sex without orgasming, there are indeed a percentage of women who we know can't orgasm. So why do women and some men put such a huge emphasis on it?
And also what can you do to ensure that you are having a great sex life regardless?
My advise would be that once you have figured out what you like and enjoy (vibrators, whipped cream, dirty talk, whips and chains etc etc), never be afraid to ask for it from your partner! Sex should be a bit of give and take.
And when it comes to orgasm don't feel like you have to fake it. Enjoy it! If it happens it happens! Alternatively if you want to explore making yourself orgasm there are plenty of books and toys on the market to start experimenting with ;)
Can my fellow bdss's offer any advise and how important is the orgasm to you?
