Ok, so it's now my turn to rant lol! Now, this is based upon personal experiences and is simply me exploring what is or isn't perceived as acceptable in this day and age.
'Prejudice': "an assumption made about someone or something before having adequate knowledge to be able to do so with guaranteed accuracy."
Baring the above in mind (and personally speaking), it beggars belief how some people feel entitled to make remarks about people who are slender and perceived as underweight, but would deem it rude or inappropriate to direct those comments in an opposite manner towards a larger person. For example, just how common are the following remarks:
"Don't you ever eat?!"
"You need to put some meat on them bones!"
"Why are you exercising, it's not like you need to lose anymore weight!"
"We need to fatten you up back to health."
Now, growing up in a predominantly African household, I got most of the above frequently because in some African cultures, you're simply unwell if you don't fill out your clothes from a young age. Admittedly, this has changed a little over the last couple of decades but I think it's more to do with what the Western world are finding popular rather than changes of mindsets.
The above remarks may not seem terribly shocking, but I feel that it's partly to do with the fact that you can walk into any workplace or family setting and hear it being said without much reaction to it - ok, fine! But now, I want you to now imagine the same above remarks only in reverse and directed at larger folk:
"Don't you ever stop eating?"
"Do you even have a collar bone?"
"Have you not heard of a gym?"
"Isn't it about time you thought of a diet plan?"
Let me guess; either your back has gone up or you at least thought "that's deep!" - even when such comments are not directed at you but you happen to witness them. None of the above could ever be said without some serious repercussions and rightly so, because it's just plain rude and out of order. So, what's the difference between them and the first set??
Unfortunately, many people find themselves presuming, prejudging and then assuming things about people or situations that they are not fully clued up on. Contrary to popular belief, some larger folk that I know are indeed content with their weight, healthier than most and have the confidence to back it up. On the flip side, not everyone who is a size 8 or under is starving themselves to stay that way or sticking their finger in their throat after every meal. In fact - I eat so much crap you wouldn't believe it!! But then I can have a month of little or no junk food and still weigh the same either way.
Where some of us are concerned, our natural weight is not actually a preference but a part of our genetic makeup, as it is in my case - right down to some men. My mother was always known for being quite slim but curvy and although I'm thankful to be a carbon-copy of that, we've found that putting the weight on is not always as easy as it sounds and add that to a high metabolism, it's like running up an escalator that's coming down!
As I've gotten older, comments like 'there's nothing to you' or 'I'm surprised you can find anything that fits' or 'you eat so much crap - your cholesterol must be sky high' has become increasingly offensive, especially because they feel free and happy to dish it out, but would run to whoever's in charge if I reversed the compliment. These comments are a lot more common from women than they are from men, who if they don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all lol! What I don't appreciate is people taking consolation in believing that there must be something wrong with me to be able to eat what I like and not look/feel like them!
Certain health conditions can also contribute to our physical statures. Over-active thyroids, diabetes and immobility are just some examples of conditions that can contribute to a heavier weight/weight gain and can be difficult to diagnose, treat and recover from. Whereas anaemia, low blood sugar and depressive disorders (i.e. Bulimia or anorexia) are other examples that at times contribute to a low weight/weight loss.
Whether we're rolly-pollies or skeletors, BFGs (as in tall) or midgets, geeks (the thick-rimmed glasses kind) or 'blondes' (as in the Brian Belo kind!) - we were all created uniquely and it's up to us to find out what makes us special. I did not choose to be how I am, but I've embraced it nonetheless. It may be more 'acceptable' to be slender these days but if you (like me) have always been naturally skinny since before sizes 6 and below even existed, chances we've also been subjected to similar issues as faced by voluptuous sisters.
These may be a touchy subject but hey - I've jumped in with both feet about one of my most touchiest issues! How about you BDSSers? Do people assume things about you based on your appearance and before having the decency to back up their assumptions or better still, ask you about it?
