After waking up this morning huge bump in tow, I soon realised that I was pissed off. Just like every other day my back was aching, and I was woken by the lovely Reu once again saying the few words he knows "How are you?", and "nooooooooo" not forgetting the adorable "hiyaaaaaa"and "cheeeessssseeee". Hearing him natter away soothed my temperament momentarily until the routine began:
- Brush teeth
- Get in the bath
- Get changed
- Make sure Ama has sorted himself out
- Ask him to make his bed
- Get Reu ready
- Feed him breakfast
- Sort out washing
- Wash dishes
- Put breakfast stool that's been moved by old boy, back where it belongs
- Pick up keys that old boy has dropped
- Drop kids off to school, and the child minder
(All this before 9am)
Now prior to point 12. I was on my way out, and knowing that I wasn't in the best of moods, I was told by the old boy that I had obviously gotten out of the wrong side of bed and I was acting wicked.
Wicked? Me? Never! Especially when I have done x amount of running around all before 9am! I think my mood is justified not to be in Stepford Wife mode!
This was obviously a stupid comment which I chose to ignore, but it had me thinking about the times I had been wicked, especially when it came to the opposite sex!
Ladies have you ever gotten into a situation with a man when he makes you so upset and ANGRY? Normally after getting upset I get enraged, and have been known to daydream about the acts of revenge I could inflict on the man that's crossed me. This usually involves their cars, scratching it up, pouring acid on it, smashing windows. I once even explained to a health care professional that I wanted to stab this one particular guy. Fortunately I wasnt sectioned and was relieved to know know such thoughts were normal considering the circumastances. Usually I've spoken to my girls and they have calmed me down, but oh no don't think everyone's got off unscathed!
I really can't divulge some of the most scandalous acts of revenge that I have inflicted, I don't even think it's left my own lips, but if 1 is very mild and 10 extremely bad (relaxer on the c*ck stylee) then my worst is around a 9/10. I sometimes look back and have a quite giggle now and again thinking did I actually do that? I must have been one maaaad woman!
Yep some women like myself have gone all out, I've heard of Scotch Bonnet peppers being spread over a mans crown jewels in his sleep LMAO whoa I love scotch peppers in my cooking but I know that can proper knock your block of - literally! Yep in Nigeria I was told about a woman who put relaxer on her husbands bits in the cover of darkness due to him cheating. RELAXER! Now I've had that bun up my scalp, today in fact and I could think of nothing worse than those chemicals penetrating that region! I've heard of a mans bits being super glued to his stomach, and of course cars being vandalised (if we can't get you, we'll get da car!). Email accounts being hacked into with naked pics, but who can forget the email that was circulated a few years back with a pic of a man who had a sexually transmitted disease and had given it to an innocent woman with the full details of the man, and the eye-catching subject header "WOMEN BEWARE!!!" this actually warned a friend of mine who was dating him at the time. I've even been walking down Kingsland High Street and seen wanted style posters of men that have crossed some probably innocent woman the wrong way, and chuckled heartedly at the awful pictures they put up for extra embarrassment.
But I must say through experience (although it's easier said than done) the best revenge for a woman or man scorned is this - getting on with your life and leaving that man/woman behind! Believe me there is no better feeling than not caring anymore.
Now have you ever done an act of revenge that you have stored in the back of your mind? Please tell! Perhaps I will divulge too :)
