The Other Woman!

So, I'm sure that many of you will be able to relate with the oh so familiar tell-tale signs. . . once upon a time, there existed the feeling like you were the only thing that mattered and was on his mind 24/7. The honeymooning state of being 'inseparable' and wishing away the hours that you're apart until you're together again. The knowledge that you came first on his list of 'can't waits' to see, talk to or 'do' (nudge, nudge, wink wink!!).

Now, there's another woman I'm constantly having to battle against for his attention and I think I'm loosing that battle . . . damn the person who invented that blasted game of FOOTBALL!!! UUURRRGGHH, I'm telling you, my frustration is unreal. How the hell could football be such a large part of my life and I don't even follow the sport??? Let me break down the seriousness of Beau's addition . . .

From the Premier League, the Coca Cola Football League, the National League, the Sunday League, the European league, World Cup fever, promotion and relegation within these leagues and the amateur leagues I find myself driving to and fro cos he's playing in them, it's the bain of my life cos he watches them all. He'd be forgiven if it was just the Man U and rival matches that he found interest in, but no - such is my luck that he's into them all. If it were Martian United vs T-Rex Rangers, trust me, he'll be watching it :D

But you'd be forgiven for thinking that's where it ends cos it soooo doesn't. When none of the above are happening, the presence of 'the other woman' lives on in the electronic form of Fifa 10 (Xbox) or Football Manager (laptop). I mean, does 'she' get all the quality time??

I take solace in knowing that I'm not alone and far from the only one exisiting in a threesome and maybe you, my lovelies, will be able to relate to one or more the following physical appearances that the 'Other Women' uses as a disguise:

1. Xbox or Playstation

2. Laptop or PC

3. iPhone apps or BBM

4. .coms / htmls / website managament / blogs

5. Music & studio (as in, "I'm going studio to spit my rhymes". . !)

6. DJing / promoting / mixing

7. The car, the rims, the trim, the sound system

8. The garms and the bling (referring to them as such is enough to deal with)

9. Work/The Office
10. A best friend (you know the kind, that one that makes you shudder upon sight, or comes to the 'yard' expecting to yam it out, bun it out and 'go larng' like to say he's sharing the bills!)

and the list most probably goes on. Admittedly, I have a thing for BBM but not the point which would mean that there's four of us in the relationship!!!

What do I do to try and win this battle?? I feel that I've tried everything from distraction (naughty negligee), to tolerance (say nothing and pay it no attention) to outright frustration ("haven't you finished with her yet???") to compromise ("alright, show me how to play this thing then!") to eventual defeat (*screw face*), and none have seemed to even phase him. Well, there was a momentary agreement to every other day but that took only about a week to dwindle. It's difficult to not think that no one else's 'other woman' can be this invasive their lives - am I wrong??

I'll let you know if I manage to 'foot' the 'ball' to a less significant position in my life. But please don't hold your breath because I can't be done for manslaughter.

Do you believe?

I came across some words that are very deep in meaning which I hope will become very influential in the way that we perceive and live our lives and the people involved.

I Believe. . .

. . . that just because two people argue it doesn't mean they don't love each other, and just because they don't argue it doesn't mean they do love each other.

. . . that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

. . . that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

. . . that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

. . . that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

. . . that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be

. . . that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

. . . that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

. . . that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

. . . that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

. . . that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

. . . that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

. . . that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

. . . that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

. . . that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

. . . that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

. . . that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

. . . that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

. . . that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever.

. . . two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

. . . that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

. . . that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

. . . that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

. . . that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

. . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything they have.

QUESTION: Do you believe all of the above? I am still struggling with a few myself but then what substance does life have without effort and subsequent progressions?

But then, I also believe that all efforts in trying to CONVINCE yourself into believing this will be in vain, but in surrendering it all to Him; The Creator, The Healer - you will believe.

You made your bed... SO LIE IN IT!

So I was talking with some family of mine about life, love and relationships, you know the usual stuff...

Mistakes made, lessons learnt and future desires...

Things were going ok until we got onto the subject of someone who is very dear to me, and I mean literally this person can do no wrong in my eyes, for all what they have done for me over the years, I would defend this person to the very end!

Unfortunately for some reason the family member I was talking with does not hold this person up to the same level as I do, in fact I get the impression that they might quite be willing to throw the other person under the bus! So I,m talking Total opposite ends on the spectrum of ideas!

Anyway, we're talking about how the person that I adore has been in a very unhappy long term relationship and that even though at times we have both had conversations saying they should get out and there have been what we both saw as perfect opportunities to get out, they still stayed for what ever reason.

So there´s me saying no trust me I truely believe that if such and such (the correct finances etc) were in place RIGHT NOW that this person would definitely breakout and leave this relationship - and the reason that I know this is because this person tells me so near enough everyday (literally!)

So then my family memeber drops the classic line... well she made her bed, so she is lying in it! She must be getting something out of it... etc... etc.

Now what got me was not necessarily what this person was saying but HOW it was said... as if this person just had no compassion for what the other person might be going through... it was like a brick wall!!

To the point were there was a moment of tension in the conversation like ´nooo... seriously, trust me...(through gritted teeth!) lol

I just thought it was so cold, considering that the same person saying 'she made her bed...' was also at one point in a long term relationship which possibly was not the best for her, and it was the same women who she has no compassion for now who had compassion for her ... and I mean literally she left and knocked on her door with bags already packed and asking for help...

At the time though I was not able to articulate it... seriously think about it...

What if in your time of need you knocked on her door and she had the same attitude that you have right now... You made your bed, SO LIE IN IT! Where would you be if she never had compassion for you? and helped you?

My point is ...think, because everybody hits rock bottom at some point in life and it is at those times that we need someone to show us some compassion whether I made my bed or not!