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Wednesday, 4 May 2011

BBM, Whatsapp and Text Dating Worries!

The post is entitled, Bbm, whatsapp and text dating worries! But it does also encompass email, facebook and twitter as I know some people like to arrange dates and things via social networks to. My question is with the arrival of such modern technology, is it making dating slightly more worrying?

You see I'm single so I can go out, meet someone, exchange bb pins/text/whatsapp,  then bb chat/text/whatsapp all week, next I can arrange a first date via bb chat/text/whatsapp  and finally meet up still using bb chat/text/whatsapp; all without talking to this person lol, without knowing what his voice sounds like or discovering what his personality is truly like. Its sort of like the modern day equivalent of being a pen-pal, or the older dating services where you had to write letters to each other!

The upside of this is that communication is instant, if for example x crosses your mind at 19:00:00 (I'm using the 24hr clock here) a quick text, bb, whatsapp will let them know by 19:00:50 seconds, which is very sweet :) lol!

The more worrying aspects are:

1) Can you really get to know someone over bursts of 200 characters in a bb, text or whatapp message?
I don't know about you but my questions and responses tend to be a lot shorter, precise and to the point (I'll try and fit what I'm saying into one text message not five lol and also try not to get finger cramps from pressing all the  small buttons on the phone).  With telephone conversations you tend to go into more detail and be more expressive; plus they say when it comes to first impressions what is being said counts for 7%, 55% is body language and 38% is style of speech i.e your tone of voice,  so often times it feels like something is missing.

2) People lose all sense of the appropriate times to start having conversations with you.
It is 2am and I've just received a bb message, could it not wait?? I'm half asleep here! What important dating info are you able to give me at this time? None! Stop! Or suddenly there is a question x wants to know about you! "Do you get on with your family?" Really... at 2am? lol

3) Things get lost in translation (which goes back to part 1!)
Even with the additional smiley faces and emocion's, the most you can potentially ascertain is that a person constantly using ROTFL laughs a lot maybe they have a GSOH. While a person using sad smiley's a lot, might be miserable or moody, the person who uses cool smiley face all the time may think they are cool, but they may not be on the same level of your own personal cool standard.

Those are a few dating worries but the ultimate one (the creme da la creme of bbm/text/whatsapp dating downside's)...

4) Date Night
So finally of course after you've spent the entire time texting, bbm-ing and whatsapp-ing your potential date, date night arrives and you then spend all your time worrying about whether you and he will actually get on at all because...

...You've ONLY ever bbm-ed, texted and whatsapp-ed each other! Lol, the fact that you've ONLY bbm-ed, texted and whatsapp-ed now terrifies think maybe I should have called hmmm...

But its too late you've already sent that final text to say..."I'm on my way" :/

I do think its time to start calling again!

So BDSS'ers what's your experience's? Have you dated someone arranged via facebook, twitter, bbm? How did you get on?


  1. The dating game gets kinda mazy, new found wealth but yet im still lazy, is it me or my money they want its all shady.
    My posts got em sayin annoymous is crazy, a sign of success look at what it did to Amy
    Lost the one i love so yeah i felt defeated, bbm and whats app yeah i got deleted
    50 bags bagged but still feel depleted
    So on date nights I show off and get Boasy
    drink nuff get drunk to hide that im lonely
    coz there backoffs may big and breast a spectacular view
    But deep down I know that they aint you.


  2. Ok anonymous I'm not sure how to respond other than that was strange, but you do you! *thumbs up*

    As for whether its worrying I don't think necessarily unless BBM or whatsapp messaging is taking the place of proper conversation altogather or even it's a thing were you can't call someone for fear of coming off to eager or like BBM is the safe territory.

    I definitely agree with point 1, you definitely probaly miss something and you can't get to know someone via text alone.

    I can't really comment on point 2 as I have been out of the dating game a while now so the only person who calls me at 2am is my man.

    Point 3, ROTMFFL (Roll on the *otherfu*king floor laughing) can not replace hearing the actual sound of a good belly laugh.

    As for number 4 you definitely might not know what your getting on date night if all you have done is spoken via bbm. I think in a way it's easier to paint acertain picture over text than it is in real life, I mean you get so many inferences from someone's tone of voice whether they are angry, sad, happy for example "yes baby I love you" in a high pitched tone = lying! haha "y baby I ♥ U" via BBM is harder to decipher!

    If you don't mind that form of communication then it's all good if however you prefer to hear the sound of someone's voice then I would suggest picking up the phone because talking is actually much nicer from what I can remember of my courtship

  3. What was strange, is this blog not about freedom of opinion?
    If you concentrated on YOU rather than watching others you would realise im not asking YOU for a response.

    Keep up the great work on the blog :-)

  4. I would not call that dating on bbm, whatapp email blah blah because its just scratching the surface, its the getting to know you stage, getting comfortable because if you have not met how do you know you are attracted to that person. Once you have met spoken face to face then you and only then can you decide that you are dating. bbm, whatapp, email will never for me replace plain ol meeting someone in person, or being introduced. For me the things mentioned are just ways to communicate not ways to start or carry on a relationship maybe a way to end a relationship, especially if that guy or girl as been a royal fool.

    @first anon if i am to take your post literally, you have to ask yourself what did you do wrong what did they do wrong and if you tried to work it out what didn't it work out. Always remember not everyone is in each others lives forever some for a season but the lesson they leave us with helps us hopefully make what should be better decisions about what we want and don't want.

    I have always felt love is just not enough, you can love for all the world but it doesn't pay the bills, feed you or help with a cheater or a lair, that is called trust and commitment and hopefully having the same out. If i'm to take your tune/comment right someone cheated which you have to understand is very hard, extremely hard to get over because a trust that was unshakable has been brought down to the ground and to rebuild that is not as easy you would like to believe because by that time the person who received the cheating doesn't owe you, you them anything because its their happiness on the line.

    I would disagree with you this blog IS about freedom of opinion but that doesn't mean we all agree with each other, that is why we all have something to say. I might add instead you giving orders to the owner of the blog, if you don't like what is being said then simply go to another blog where they say things you like and agree with, which you will never find. I mean you had to find this site and made a choice to post a comment therefore expect folks to respond whether you like it or not.

  5. oh i was so busy responding to post that i forgot to answer years and year ago i did met someone over the net and actually we had a good relationship for a while it worked out well but i was young no expectations just wanted to have fun and we did, i met him on line and he was american but in a position to travel and see me which he did and me him not as much as he did me. Would i do it again no because what technology is today isn't what it was, then you could believe someone but today its easier to fabricate who you are what you do, i would use it to communicate with someone i am already dating but not use it to start dating.

  6. If i'm to take your tune/comment right someone cheated (Not quite sure where you got that impression)

    Im just posting my comment and feelings to the blog and expressing my opinion.

    Im actually a massive fan of the blog

  7. Now that we have established we all have the right to freedom of speech hopefully we can move on :-0

  8. I get that impression by you saying you where locked off all forms of communication and that too me only happens when you cheat there could be other things but that is my major guess, i could be wrong but its not my life.

    Its why we are all here to debate and have opinions there is not one right answer, there is a common ground but each to their own. Glad you enjoy the blog so do I :0), I respect the posters not just because they are my friends but because it is good quality posting.

  9. There is a great post over at called: The Par that is the R: 6 step guide to flirting on Blackberry Messenger
    A step by step guide to BBM flirting lol, it is a great read for those who want to increase their chances of success I think particularly with the ladies via BBM! haha

  10. Lol - I just had a read of the post and it is hysterical!

    My status will be updated to "Jet-lagged" to see if it works in reverse lol!

    Or something with more appeal such as "cooked a dinner fit for a king today" I don't know they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach it might work! Read the post to understand what i'm on about!

    But I honestly do find that once your on the date (having a nice meal somewhere plush off course), about an hour in, once you've established that the night is going relatively well(conversation is flowing nicely), one or other party always says something along the lines of:

    "oh I wasn't too sure how we'd get along as we've only bb'd" lol! "but I was going to call you earlier during the week but I just got too busy"

    LMAO!!!! Going to call my back foot! We're all too attached to our BB's!

    I agree madeformakeup it is a prelude to dating rather than the full on dating experience!

    And with you si - there is nothing like hearing a good laugh than a lol! lol!

  11. Well I've been out of the dating game for a while and this is all new to me. I have dated online before many years ago, and technology was just an interlude to a conversation over the phone and then meeting in person. Nowadays many people hide behind technology people wouldn't dream of calling someone you're just getting to know at 2am, but it's now perfectly exceptable to BB someone at the early hours lol.

    I think getting BB messages or Whatsapp messages is exciting because you can be alerted at any time, but at the same time I love a good old chat, so would probably be tempted to say just call me! If I hadn't had any conversation with someone leading up to our first date I would be really nervous, because it's almost as though everything hangs on the first date. Whereas if you've had those long early hours of the morning conversations where you both are practical asleep but just want to hear each other breathe it sort of breaks the ice for when you meet face to face.

  12. Gosh I can't believe men aren't calling no more instead they are BBing, where have I been?

  13. haha - definitely Sel, you need to try those status tactic's to increase intrigue and induce more conversation! lol

    I agree Bi the game has really changed! I remember like you chatting on the phone for hours even before we met up again and I really enjoyed that time. It's not to say that after the initial date that process won't start but it seem's like the BBM/Technology delays it a little.

    On a plus note (or is it?) I get the impression that BBM/tech allows people to kind of bow out more easily kind of like in the Brotherswithnogame article... just not respond and eventually because you never spoken in person in the first place things dwindle until silence, as opposed to ignoring peoples calls... really which person is going to now phone someone who they have only spoken to via BBM who is ignoring those same BBM's... only someone who can't take the hint!

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