Its Not in Our Heads.......Reasons Why Women Believe Men are such Big Cheaters!

Ladies this sh*t is getting serious out here lol! Make sure you ask the questions.....Do you have a girlfriend, are you married etc.

Honestly, I do think that the opposite sex, although they know how their fellow mandem (male friends) operate, they like to go on like we women are exagerating and completely irrational when it comes to our tendancy to believe that the majority of men cheat.

But you know a lot of the time this assumption comes from experiences. For example, you might have been cheated on in a previous relationship, and obviously the same can be true for men also because don't get me wrong, women cheat too.

But just to educate you guys so you're aware, it's not always just some irrational thought processes going through our heads. I've just compiled a quick list of reasons other than the film waiting to exhale, the cheating celebrities: Tiger Woods, Arnie, and Wayne Rooney etc, and the above that we think this:

1) Firstly, a lot of women (and I include myself in this) will have grown up with a male in their family, be it their own father, an uncle, brother or cousin who always has a harem of women around them and I'm not talking harem pants here (lol okay so that joke was rubbish but you know what I'm saying!); they have a conveyor belt of women. Occasionally with multiple women giving birth around the same time! 

2) Every woman has at least one male friend who can give them the 411 (info) on what you guys get up to, they are just like your female friends but a male version you talk about most things with, cheating included. You disclose indiscretions with each other so we know you guys are more than capable.

3) We get approached by married men quite a bit, trying to arrange to take us out.....I guess the idea is to slowly turn us into a mistress. Don't mention the wife and kids until after some point when you can't hide them any longer!

This last point was the catalyst for the post. After going on a night out, giving this seemingly unattached male my BB pin (he asked and seemed harmless enough), we talked over the weekend and provisionally arranging a first date, one of my friends lightheartedly said to me "shall I get you the info on this person" so I said yes why not, not really thinking much of it (now don't worry, I didn't get someone to illegally gather all his personal information - that's not my thing, BDSS don't get down like that lol). She simply asked a friend of hers, who happened to be a friend of hi,s a few questions. So the 411 report came back:

He is married with a child just over a year old (but he may have been seperated from his wife I hear you cry!!!!......umm NO!!) When I brought it to his attention that I was aware of his family therefore no longer interested, he came with an excuse about how he tried to fight his feelings but that he just couldn't make a man forget his wife and child (clearly my dance-moves and BB banter is on point lol!....I can give you lessons - kidding!!) Clearly this man was willing to take another woman out behind his wife's back and not make me aware he had a wife.

Fine, fine, so not all men cheat just quite a few of you do, but the proof is in the numerous married men who try and date me!

Can you think of any other reasons BDSS'ers? What are your thoughts? Comment, share!

*itch Tried to Fight Me In The Street... (Deuces)

Hello BDSS’ers have you ever had one of those days where you realise there are some real nutcase’s out there? Well… my Saturday just happened to be one of those days...

You see it started off just like any ordinary Saturday.  Sel and I had planned to meet a cousin for lunch at Marco Pierre White's restaurant in Knightsbridge for some fine dinning and a catch up. That plan got scuppered which although was a shame, it was not the end of the world; we just went to our default restaurant … Nando’s! (yummy)

Just a bit of background… me, Sel and our Cousin used to frequent Nando’s a lot back in the day - I'm talking one day my cousin looked at her bank statement and every other transaction was for Nando’s; we ate there practically every week! ha

Any ways back to crazy people…

So picture Sel and me in my car headed down her road to begin the hour or so journey to Nando’s.

Now the road is narrow, with cars parked on either side so you have to stop and give way; and use basic road etiquette and common sense. I get near the end of the road, my lane is clear, a car is parked on the other side of the road and a women who has just turned into the road decides to quickly drive pass the car on her side hence blocking my clear lane! hmm

As I said you got to use your common sense, and my sense told me seeing as she clearly lacked the common sense to realise it was my right of way, its unlikely she will have the etiquette to reverse back.

So I reverse back (and then forward again -yes two manoeuvres!) to accommodate this ‘ladies’ lack of road awareness…

Now I know what your wondering BDSS’ers… did I get a thank you? …Nope! Instead this lady drives pass giving me the evil eye and mouthing off!

So obviously because I thought I was doing her a favour (even though it was my right of way) I gave her the evil eye right back and indicated (with two fingers) what is your problem? And proceeded to go about my day…

… Well with that… My girl only jumped out her car and was making gestures (in my rear view) as if to challenge me to a fight/ a dual/ a rumble! LMAO – I could not believe it!

You see, I was not that upset! - I mean you mouthed off at me, I mouthed off at you -we’re even, no?

Also although I am a yellow strip in Taekwondo (I am deadly! ha) and probably Sel would have had my back! I really did not have the time or the inclination to fight! Ha-ha...Let’s just say she was in the middle of the road fixing to fight herself! kmt

So there you have it BDSS’ers crazy encounter numero 1 – *itch want to fight me in the street! (she needs to read this: What is road rage?)

Numero 2: We get to Wood Green car park and I’m trying to find a space. As I’m going up the slopes to get to the next level I encountered an overzealous horn user. Now I don’t know if it was because she was in a rush (or she had poor clutch control) … but every time I stopped she beeped! Lawd help me

Again common sense and road etiquette would tell you I’ve not stopped just to piss you off!

Anyway having already learned earlier that people actually will jump out their car and try to fight you over stupidity; I ignored her and gave her the evil eye as she drove passed! Ha-ha –(no I didn't), but we did laugh a lot when people beeped at her with her slow parking self… Karma *itch!

So anyways we finally get to Nando’s, enjoying my cousins company (she is getting married and was filling me in on all the details); plus the 1/4 chicken with chips! We’re all excited and gushing in the way women do regarding marriage and stuff!

Now I’ve looked around as you do and caught the eye of a women and her another women who looked to be her mother … before I knew it these two women are not only staring me down! (Even thought I don’t think I was staring in the first place) but also indicated to this other guy to look in my direction?? hmm

My thought process at that moment was: omg… what is going on today! … Wait? Are they really screwing me or am I having a stare down contest? *a quick peak* omg mother dearest is sucking her chicken bone and the contempt is clear on her screw face!  lmao…

(The last time I got screwed that hard was in 1993, the first day of secondary school!)

Sigh, I must say if I was a different person…  but I like to fight fire with water and I don’t let people’s craziness ruin my day!

So anyways BDSS’ers… should I have fought her? Have you ever had one of those days were people (and their mother) seem determined to fight you? Or just piss you off? Also, it just dawned on me all three aggressors were women, does that mean something?

Deuces… (let the battle begin in comments!)

Think your way to orgasm

Let's talk about sex baby okay salt & pepa!

So I was reading in femail magazine last week, that there are women who can think themselves to orgasm (are you one of these women do tell?), so I thought oh yes this is a must read article, maybe they have included a step by step guide to achieving this (who wouldn't want to orgasm at any moment of your choosing, in the supermarket, during a boring telephone conference at work these are just some examples of places, you can probably think of more orthodox places ie in the bedroom but my point is that you could knock yourself out orgasming all over the place! All day if you had a day off ; ) that would be fun but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be, there followed an article talking about how a scientist has been investigating the female orgasm and how the few women that are able to bring themselves to orgasm by thinking, when their brains were studied they found that the same area's that show activity when a woman has a physical orgasm, were showing in these lucky thinking orgasm women yada yada yada boring!

No instructions were included at all :(

But it got me wondering how important is the orgasm to enjoyable sex? I read a lot of Dear Deirdre problem pages, and there is always a problem which goes along the lines of:

“I wonder if you can help me I can not orgasm when I have sex with my gorgeous boyfriend help!”

or from a partner saying

“my girlfriend/wife never orgasms when we have sex I worry that she is not enjoying it”

Surely you can have enjoyable sex without orgasming, there are indeed a percentage of women who we know can't orgasm. So why do women and some men put such a huge emphasis on it?

And also what can you do to ensure that you are having a great sex life regardless?

My advise would be that once you have figured out what you like and enjoy (vibrators, whipped cream, dirty talk, whips and chains etc etc), never be afraid to ask for it from your partner! Sex should be a bit of give and take.

And when it comes to orgasm don't feel like you have to fake it. Enjoy it! If it happens it happens! Alternatively if you want to explore making yourself orgasm there are plenty of books and toys on the market to start experimenting with ;)

Can my fellow bdss's offer any advise and how important is the orgasm to you?