Ladies this sh*t is getting serious out here lol! Make sure you ask the questions.....Do you have a girlfriend, are you married etc.
Honestly, I do think that the opposite sex, although they know how their fellow mandem (male friends) operate, they like to go on like we women are exagerating and completely irrational when it comes to our tendancy to believe that the majority of men cheat.
But you know a lot of the time this assumption comes from experiences. For example, you might have been cheated on in a previous relationship, and obviously the same can be true for men also because don't get me wrong, women cheat too.
But just to educate you guys so you're aware, it's not always just some irrational thought processes going through our heads. I've just compiled a quick list of reasons other than the film waiting to exhale, the cheating celebrities: Tiger Woods, Arnie, and Wayne Rooney etc, and the above that we think this:
1) Firstly, a lot of women (and I include myself in this) will have grown up with a male in their family, be it their own father, an uncle, brother or cousin who always has a harem of women around them and I'm not talking harem pants here (lol okay so that joke was rubbish but you know what I'm saying!); they have a conveyor belt of women. Occasionally with multiple women giving birth around the same time!
2) Every woman has at least one male friend who can give them the 411 (info) on what you guys get up to, they are just like your female friends but a male version you talk about most things with, cheating included. You disclose indiscretions with each other so we know you guys are more than capable.
3) We get approached by married men quite a bit, trying to arrange to take us out.....I guess the idea is to slowly turn us into a mistress. Don't mention the wife and kids until after some point when you can't hide them any longer!
This last point was the catalyst for the post. After going on a night out, giving this seemingly unattached male my BB pin (he asked and seemed harmless enough), we talked over the weekend and provisionally arranging a first date, one of my friends lightheartedly said to me "shall I get you the info on this person" so I said yes why not, not really thinking much of it (now don't worry, I didn't get someone to illegally gather all his personal information - that's not my thing, BDSS don't get down like that lol). She simply asked a friend of hers, who happened to be a friend of hi,s a few questions. So the 411 report came back:
He is married with a child just over a year old (but he may have been seperated from his wife I hear you cry!!!!......umm NO!!) When I brought it to his attention that I was aware of his family therefore no longer interested, he came with an excuse about how he tried to fight his feelings but that he just couldn't make a man forget his wife and child (clearly my dance-moves and BB banter is on point lol!....I can give you lessons - kidding!!) Clearly this man was willing to take another woman out behind his wife's back and not make me aware he had a wife.
Fine, fine, so not all men cheat just quite a few of you do, but the proof is in the numerous married men who try and date me!
Can you think of any other reasons BDSS'ers? What are your thoughts? Comment, share!
it takes two to tango me lady, so as much as women look pon mandem as serial cheaters ... yeah, yeah I hear you say "but I wasn't given the full picture" but most of the women know already
ReplyDeleteIt's not just married men that cheat lets not get it twisted any man/woman in a committed relationship is in my eyes married to their partner doesn't mean it hasn't been publicly announced in front of the whole world so doesn't count......
ReplyDeleteMost men/women that cheat do so for various reasons selfishness, unhappy at home or because they just can pitiful excuses yes but it HAPPENS....most importantly the cheater his/her partner always knows that something isn't quite right but they allow the behaviour to continue........and as for the person they happen to be cheating with they 9 out of 10 always know the score!!!!!!!
What I refuse to accept is when a man justifies things by saying it's in my DNA to cheat bull CRAP this is a behaviour therfore it's learnt!!!!!!! and if you want to stop you will!
Oh girl the cheek of this man! He is way out of line but I believe he's probably gotten away with this behaviour before. There are actually some women out there that are attracted to attached men. Some women actually fall for the same tricks that married men pull 'I'm not happy in my marriage' or 'I'm going to leave her' and before they know it they are sucked in waiting around.
ReplyDeleteOn the otherhand some wives and girlfriends turn a blind eye to this sort of behaviour because they just want a man there or have so much financial/emotional comittments to the man that they just cannot walk away.
A woman who's hubby was blatantly cheating once said to me 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander'
Wow Sel – good post and some great points. You’re right, it is getting serious out here especially with dirty skanks like him!! LOL Tempted or not, he made his choice of who he wanted to ‘have and to hold, love and cherish etc’ so he should stick with it!
ReplyDeleteSomeone once said to me “it’s not that your man aint doing something; it’s that his game is tight!” Now, I continue to have hope that this not true of all men but such scenarios are not encouraging :O
Chrome; that’s a little harsh aint it lol, considering it the married man in question had only just made himself known. I’m presuming he did something inventive with his ring too lol but I agree with ChilledLeo – once you’re in a relationship, it should be approached with the morals of marriage (providing that is of course what both parties after after) otherwise, what’s the point?!
Wow Bi – that woman has a serious sand pit with her head in it. Although, I can’t knock it if it’s working for her lol, it just wouldn’t for me but each to their own I suppose.
I agree of course men and women both play away, and it definitely does take two to tango.
ReplyDeleteHowever I don't believe its mostly this thing where everyone knows and is happy to play along, if people were not being misled, lied too and feelings getting hurt then it wouldn't be a discussion topic, people wouldn't be scratching their heads wondering why their partner has cheated.
Its not all cosy consentual hurtfree cheating! lets not rose-tint it!
Lol that's the thing this lady was very aware of the situation,and knew what her husband was up to, but for the sake of the kids etc decided to stick around and play her husband at his own game.
ReplyDeleteCheating is an awful thing to go through, what I was trying to bring to the debate was different scenarios that I have been through or heard about. I wasn't trying to rose-tint anything personally!
Greetings, I thought it would be good to reply this post. Talking from experience I have personally found that they are a lot of beautiful women that are dealing with various issues. Men and women alike, carrying burdens and generational cases that unfortunately we have taken upon ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to dating I have dated a lot of women in my past and although I was seeking for a perfect relationship I came to discover that I was desperate to feel the sentiments and affections of love which were never for filled. Alot of married men struggle with making the transition of singleness to commitment because they have not come in contact with one who is the embodiment of true love. Love is more then skin deep and until we all examine ourselves I don’t believe we can ever truly express or appreciate what it means to know love.
I have come from a place where I used to date a lot of attractive women but although I had fun sexually and the vibes were good there was always something missing. It’s a shame because on the most part we don’t know our true worth yet alone understand the depth of real love. There is a passage of scripture that is often read out at weddings which is 1 Corinthians 13. In this passage it describes that love is paitent, kind, not envies, doesn’t boast, not proud, not self-seeking, not easily angered , rejoices in the truth, always protects, always trusts , always hopes and the likes. This verse in scripture has always been a strong desire of mine in regards to the opposite sex.
You probably see where I am going with this, love can only be found in the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe that unless one has a firm foundation in knowing such love, what they have to give or appreciate is unrealistic. Christ is the greatest expression of true love and it is because of such love that I am here replying to this post.
Love for the opposite sex is something that God has given to a lot of us for his very nature is love. Until we come to the knowledge of Christ is love we can never truly love the way he has designed it to be. The bible gives a great depiction of Christ as the Bridegroom and the Church as his bride and Ephesians 5 clearly illustrates how marriage is God’s design. Temptation is evident and this is the number one tool that the enemy uses to stray us away from knowing True love. God is sovereign and is calling all of you that read this post to himself. Once you come to the place of accepting that your way is doomed and accept his way of love you will be amazed at where the love of Christ will lead you. I know I sound like I am preaching but don’t allow other people’s mistakes mislead from the truth of his word and love for you.
May the love of Christ draw you to myself so that we can all come to appreciate real love for one another and marriage in it’s perfect context. Don’t make the mistake of lust for love. On that note I leave you all with this Link. God Bless you Sel
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8xWEhij5L0
Thank you for commenting anonymous, and for the blessing much appreciated :)
ReplyDeleteI love the song you have included also, without a doubt it is easy to look for love in all the wrong places.
You bring a biblical perspective to the post which is relevent for a lot of christians. How easy it is to practice what is in the bible is another thing though lol probably for another post.
Yes men cheat a lot we all know that. I know cause I am a former player. Although I retired from the game. But let me just say yes we cheat, but women like a challenge. When a woman tells a guy she's married the guy generally backs off a bit. But if a guy tells a woman he's married then for her its a challenge. It is a boost to her ego if she gets him. For some women there is nothing more sexy then a wedding ring. Once your spoken for thats when the hunters come out of hiding. And you know its true right?
ReplyDeletep.s I love the post by anonymous. Spoke to me man, Jah Bless!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome Sel glad you found my comments beneficial and you enjoyed the song by Trip lee but most of all the message of true love. The greatest gift one can receive is to know that they are totally forgiven that is the beauty of The Gospel. Thanks for your love matchujohnson, the Lord is speak to you.
ReplyDeletePlease watch this link called Propaganda G.O.S.P.E.L
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIhGxEdez98&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Grace & Love :)
It is very sad to say that many women nowadays are the real cheaters.
ReplyDelete