Fakery and Fu*kery ...Is honesty the best policy?

The other day my son was on the laptop chatting to his friends on good old Face book. Being the caring responsible and darn right nosey parent that I am, I looked over his shoulder and read his messages. He was looking a little worried, and I wanted to know what was wrong. He then went on to tell me he had called his best friends girlfriend ‘honey’ by accident (I’m not sure how you do that, but he’s 9 so I’ll let him off). He then proceeded to tell his friend what he had done. I was just about to say “No son, don’t make matters worse” when I stopped myself. My son was being honest, an honest young boy of 9 going on 10, and I should be proud. I then got to checking myself, my own instinct was to lie, but what good did lying do? Then it dawned on me my son was teaching me a lesson that “Honesty is the best policy”. The next day at a mutual friends party, nothing was even mentioned about his little indiscretion.

I got to thinking about some of the men I’ve met, some of them must have been like my son all innocent and sweet, and then it happened – they turned into men! Now I know not all men lie, just like not all women tell the truth – cough cough ;) But I’ve run into some men that could talk a tail of a donkey- literally. The labrish as rolled off their tongue like another language, and in some instances I’ve believed him. “I will support you and the baby” is one major lie that the same man as managed to chat four other times with three other women and still hasn’t got a job to show for his hard biologically work. There was one particular guy I was seeing and I got the dreading ‘other woman’ call, fortunately for me I wasn’t taking this brother too seriously, so wasn’t surprised to get the fu*kery call when I was about to go raving with my girlies. The ‘other woman’ went on to tell me that she was pregnant with said mans baby, already had a son with him (I met this son two weeks prior) and she had seen his texts too me. Having learnt a rough lesson at 14 ( I will tell you at a later date) I have learned that if that man isn’t your husband, and you really don’t give a fu*k, denial is the best policy, so I proceeded to deny that he was my deep south llover and just said we were friends. Now if said man had been honest, yea he wouldn’t have got moi, but still we are all adults and I’m sure there would have been plenty of other women that didn’t care. Of course he denied it and gave me the typically “she’s crazy” speech but once he realised that I wasn’t having it, like a thief in the night he was gone. 

I’m guessing I’ve been that “crazy woman” to other women too, but hey as I said men lie. It’s interesting how some men tell you some sort of negative crap about their ex’s but then slowly but surely you realise what crap she had to deal with and that she probably wasn’t crazy at all, in fact you are for dealing with his crap after her. Just like the other women at the top of this post that went on to have 4 more children for a man that hasn’t worked in years, but hey these liars are good. They suck you in, and then when you wake up from your slumber, either they have gone or you want them gone. 

My favourite lie was from a man that was supposed to be taking me out for dinner, 9pm came and went, so I took myself in a vex mood to bed. At 4am I heard a knock on the door, and low and behold “G” was standing there panting like the dog he was. “I’ve been kidnapped and just managed to escape” WTF? “Yeah me and my bredrin went to shot some car, and we were just about to pay and the guy robbed us" pardon? "He locked us up for a few hours” urgh? “Yeah we escaped by jumping out the window”. Now there’s some men that you could believe, but G? If the name liar was actually a first name he should have been called it. To this day I don’t even know if his name was a popular name beginning with G.

So ladies, have you been told some whoppers? Please do tell!