So the other day I was reading a hilarious post on Very Smart Brothas entitled principle schmiciple: The stupidity of the ‘you dated my friend so you’re off limits forever’ argument…
In a nutshell it went through a number of reasons why the argument of never going out with a friend’s ex is well …stupid! (It reduces your dating pool, by excluding people who you might be compatible with or it might be a subtle dig on the quality of your friend ha! - an interesting one!) I recommend you read it... http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/principle-schminciple-the-stupidity-of-the-you-dated-my-friend-so-youre-off-limits-forever-argument/
Anyways whilst some of the reasons were good, it did concede that there are some circumstances were going out with your friends ex might not be appropriate, such as if they just broke up yesterday or the ex- cruelly dismissed or played your friend and at the time you were expected to provide the bleach! lol
Now to be honest I don’t think I have ever gone out with a friends ex and not only that; it has never really been an option for me because when it comes to whom my friends are going out with I usually behaviour in one of two ways…
…If my friend is happy with their beau I'm genuinely happy for them and don't mind meeting said beau and going to couple’s dinner’s and genuinely being nice and getting to know them etc…
However, if my friend is unhappy and is to the point of plotting murder against said beau… I will admit (and of course depending on the misdemeanour) I would be willing not only to provide the bleach, but possibly a shovel too! Lol … that’s the kind of friend I am...
… You see, when it comes to love I just hate to see people being mugged off and I have been known in the past to get incredulous on my friends (and family members) behalf and if you ever need someone to tell you what I really think about that lying, cheating, watless so and so… you only have to ask and I'll tell you why you deserve and can do much better than that idiot... Eadart!
So anyways... over the years I have been parted to a number of instances where a close friend or relative have discussed with me the details of some ridiculous/messy relationship situation at a point when they themselves are usually incredulous, vexed or upset by the antic's of their beau and depending on the antics, as mentioned above... I'd be willing to get the shovel! lol
Now as I have grown and developed I have come to the realization that the course of true love never runs smoothly and sometimes love ain’t gone be no picnic and if it’s worth having it worth fighting for…(Cheryl was right!)
… and there usually comes a point when the initial reactions subside, the anger simmers and people go back to rebuilding their relationships and sometimes the almost murdered beau manages to slot back into the rigmarole of what would appear to be their normal relationship…(good for them)…
I suppose what I’m trying to say is where does that leave me… the friend with the bleach and the shovel?!
Just the other day I almost came into contact with an almost murder victim… I say almost came into contact because I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything to this person… something (maybe it’s a grudge because I don’t think they deserve a second chance) just stopped me and my thought process went along the lines of... if I say hello and ask how you’ve been and what’s going on… smiling falsely (when I know full well what has been going on -Eadart!) will I would just be a hypocrite and also even though my friend may have forgiven your wayward behaviour… I’m just not ready to forgive!
Now I know it’s childish and really it is none of my business if my friend wants to go out like that… however I’m just saying ...it is hard! Lol
So anyways BDSS’rs can you relate? Have you had to standby and watched someone dear to you appear to be mugged off? How did you overcome? I mean seriously I don’t want to be that hater friend for whom beau's name is unmentionable! lol
What are your thoughts?
