Conversations With A Babyfather...

Following on from the previous post The BDSS: I Want To Be Your Babyfather...

Whilst it raised a consensus amongst the BDSS that none of  us could possibly imagine being baby mother number 5, 8, 11 or 13! We all would be willing to engage with a man who has  children from previous relationships/liasons depending on the type of male he is (i.e., preferably in employment,  contributing to the child/children´s upbringing both financially, emotionally, taking care of their welfare and all that other good father stuff)!

We also agreed that it is the children who are likely to suffer in a situation like the one in the article and if you check the comments someone even envisioned baby mother fights and all sorts because of the father not being able to provide for all his 15 children!

However I think the issue brings up more  questions than answers that frankly the BDSS are not equipped to answer ourselves, I think we need a male perspective or something…

Luckily I did have the opportunity to talk with a male, who lets say is an older gentlemen who himself has a number of children by a few women, (obviously not to the extreme of the man from the article)! 

Me and my fellow BDSS Sel were having a conversation about cheating with this man and during the conversation he alluded to the fact that as a male with a number of children by different women it can make starting relationships not so easy, in fact I think he may have used the word  HINDRANCE! lol 

Now he did clarify he was not saying his children themselves are a hindrance to him, but attached to the fact he has so many children by a few women is the idea that he is some kind of playboy, the idea that women may not take him seriously now because of it.

Which he said when he was  younger he did not even consider the consequence (Maybe he thought himself virile- lol!).

It was really one of them ´ been there and done that´ kind of conversations and the crux of it all was that now with hindsight he wished he had all his children with just  one women!  In fact he said he would not recommend multiple babymothers at all! (I love a male perspective!) :-D



It was great hearing this perspective, unfortunately me and Sel did not explore it further, because as I said we were talking about something else so the conversation took a different focus...

But I would love to carry on the conversation now because I know this is just one male´s opinion and there are probably other males out there who have a totally different perspective. 

So guys help us BDSS´s out with more useful insights into your babymother drama! 

We promise to be nice if you promise to be honest and tell us what is up with multiple children by multiple women, the BDSS are all ears…

p.s, We know it takes two to tango, so women feel free to jump on board with your comments! (and we are aware of the Urika Johnson´s out there guys so don´t think we´re male bashing!)

I Want To Be Your Babyfather...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1313782/BEL-MOONEY-The-mothers-blame-feckless-father-15-children-14-women.html

After reading the above article about the alleged jobless & ´feckless´ man apparently responsible for fathering 15 children by 14 different women, I started to think about a chat up line I heard a few years ago…

Ladies picture this ...your minding your own business on a bus when a random man approaches you and after the initial conversation delivers the following closing line: ´I want to be your  babyfather´ (or maybe it was I want to be your ´next´ babyfather or something to that effect!).

Now going back to the article the author was at a loss as to what would make these 14 women end up pregnant by this man in the first place knowing that he already had 5.. 8.. 11.. or 13 children by 5.. 8.. 11.. or 13 different women? (It´s a mystery for me too- lol!);

And equally when my friend relayed the story of the  ´I want to be your babyfather´ chat up line I was also at a loss.  I was like ...really and you actually continued to talk with this man? ( I can´t remember if anything came of that chat up line - but I remember talking about it so there is a possibility that something did!).

Another thought I had at the time is what would make this random man think that by telling you he wants to be your babyfather he would 1) Get maximum results? 2) Think that you would respond positively to this line of chat and 3) Think that you might possibly become his babymother or at least get to start doing the things that result in babies being born! (again some more mysteries to be solved- lol!)

I mean who know´s how the man in the article swung it and brought up the fact he has a lot of children by a lot of different women to his prospective partners, but clearly (and this is just my personal opinion) the women did NOT mind! Or why else would they end up being babymother number 5.. 8.. 11.. or 13!?

I have been racking my brain for a good half an hour trying to come up with some possible reasons as to why any women would want to be and/or even end up being baby mother number 5.. 8.. 11.. etc and so far I have come up with the following:

1) This guy has some serious lady charming skills;

2) He knows how to spot the women who will respond positively to the ´by the way I have 5.. 8.. 11.. or 13 children´ conversation;

3) Or maybe he is just upfront and uses the  ´I want to be your baby father´ chat up line whilst approaching women on the bus! I can´t say why exactly but for some reason I feel like this is the kind of thing a man who already has more than one child with probably a number of different women would say! Do correct me if I´m wrong ladies (But I know I´m right! :-D)

I mean the article states the man is averaging one baby per year and he currently has 3 babies in the pipe line (I was really tired whilst reading so I could be wrong!)  not forgetting a current girlfriend who is also pregnant and talking about giving him a second chance! A second chance at what I would like to know?

So anyways my BDSSérs in order to make some sense out of all of the above can you all think of any other reason´s why a women would end up being baby mother number 15?  Also clearly these women have no children or babymother limits but I want to know- do you? (I think I draw the line at 10 children with 7 babymother´s - only joking!);  and finally  have any of you succumbed to the ´I want you to be my babymother/babyfather´ type chat up line and what was the outcome? are you babymother/ father number 10 right now? the BDSS would be very interested to know...

Idris Elba Appreciation Day

Has there ever been a man crafted as if he were the definition of Sexy itself?

He is dark, he is handsome, he has a physique to rival David Beckham! Lol - not forgetting he is a super talented television, theatre, film actor and a singer/producer! He also hails from Hackney of West African parentage (Debs, and fellow SL´s stand up)! - he is of course none other than Idris Elba!

Now I know I'm not the only one who appreciates Idris, so I've decided to have an Idris Elba appreciation day -yea!

Ok so the reason I have Idris on my mind is because I´m currently in Trinidad and Tobago and I managed to get myself down to the  local Caribbean Cinema to watch ´Takers´ (woo hoo)!

The film was excellent and had me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end! Not forgetting to mention the great cast of handsome men (TI, Paul Walker, Michael Ealy, Matt Dillon to name a few of the film eye candy!), it´s  definitely a film that the ladies can appreciate even if your not into action, crime & thriller movies!

I think its being released in the UK on 1st October so ladies go see it (and drool -lol!)

And if your wondering why on earth I´m in lovely Trinidad and going cinema... to cut a long story short; what was suppose to be a normal fun filled holiday planned for June had to be rescheduled due to my partner being unable to fly (health issues) and between then and now my partners uncle suddenly passed away.

So we are now in TNT but its under sad circumstances and we are staying with uncle´s family;  his mother, brother, wife and children.

I have to say it has been lovely and uncle´s family are (I don´t think coping is the appropriate word) but they are moving, waking, going to school, going to work,  moving day by day in a way that has blown me away.

I´ll be honest I kind of felt at first that I was intruding like they have been through so much and here I am coming on ´holiday´ but they have received me graciously even in their time of grief and I think it is a testament to God how they are moving as a family.

I mean yesterday we visited uncle´s grave and whilst I wanted to cry (just thinking about wow she has lost her husband, she has lost her dad, what the...?!), they were talking about uncle with joy, love and respect for the person he was - a son, husband, father & uncle... and as I said in my previous post The BDSS: A heavy one...  God has promised 'blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted' (Matthew 5:4).

So I guess what I´m saying is God is good, life is precious, you have to treasure the good times and understand that the Lord does not give you more than you can bear, and when you stand on faith and know that God loves you, well you will be OK... so with that said I wanted to have a fun post, one where we can enjoy and appreciate - hence the ...Idris Elba Appreciation Day! lol

So my lovelies what do you appreciate about Idris, life and love please share...