Deluded or juvenile as this may be but whenever I have dreamt of settling down and getting hitched, I've always envisaged my partner as being my best friend.
I'd say that in my dating life I've had one experience where my partner has been that, which has been my longest relationship to date which lasted 7 years (check me out-that was a good innings lol), but since then, my partners have been simply boyfriends. There has been no great friendship that I can identify with all but a very small minority (1 other I can think off).
A year into my current relationship almost, it will be 1 year in september...now that our honeymoon period is over :( I am beginning to question. Is this a best friend? Is it even appropriate for me to be wanting such a thing? or is it something that harks back to when I was reading fairytale's of prince charming. The funny thing is I know that the prince in snow white, cinderella and the like all rescued the princess, but I'm not entirely sure they became best friends! I'm not sure where that notion comes from!
But anyways what do you think bloggers are partners supposed to be best friends? Is your partner your best friend? What's that like? (So I can compare lol).
I don´t really know Selly! I think its a nice notion, but whether it applies to all relationships I´m not so sure, in fact I doubt it does!
ReplyDeleteWhen you say best friend in what sense do you mean?
I mean when I think of my best friend´s they are people I think I can really reveal my deepest darkest fears, hopes, dreams and disappointments. Possibly stuff that I would not even reveal to my man for fear of him thinking I´m crazy!! haha (and we´re pretty solid as a couple).
The crazy emotional stuff for the best friends so they can talk some sense into me (hopefully!) and the sexy, rational, feisty stuff for my man I say...
and who said the honeymoon period is over yet?!
I'm with you Selly, I think I always imagined the same in my younger years ... but then I agree with Si and have also personally come to realise that as hard as I may work towards this being the case, it rarely turns out that way.
ReplyDeleteMy 'best friends' each possess different 'best friendship' qualities and mostly depends on situations or scenarios, previous experiences that we've had either independently or together and their ability to lovingly show me truths that I may at times find difficult to hear.
BDSS, for example have actually been there for virtually all of the experiences I've gone through whether exciting or nerve-racking, very good or very 'naughty' (he he!!) and otherwise challenging times to the point I can talk to them about practically everything. But then, I think it's more likely that this is because we are all very similar and like-minded women and a great deal of trust has been developed over a period of time.
With a man, however, I think that society nowadays makes it a little more challenging for a relationship of this sort to get going as it could be perceived as 'clingy' or 'needy' or even 'baggage'. There are some things, pure and simple, that he just doesn't wanna know about - and as the kinda person who's back gets up if someone isn't really interested in the convo; I find someone who is!!
I think it's possible for the men in our lives to be one of our 'bestest friends', but I think that through time, we'll find that the role of of 'the best friend' is probably a shared one.
Well why not, I think yes your partner should be your best friend its who you spend a lot of time with if you can't be real with him then who can u expose yourself with, I guess that's why its important to evaluate all these things as you move through your relationship which if built on solid ground you will know or should know when he just doesn't cut it
ReplyDeleteJanice I hear what your saying definitely!
ReplyDeleteSian and debs I get your points too as there are just some things you'd rather share with a female friend rather than your partner.
This is an hard one girl, I think my man is a friend/best friend, but this is a totally different relationship compared to my ladies who are my best friends too. What I share with him and my girls is mainly based on the whole male/ female thing, I know he will not get things about me that my girls get and vice versa, just as there are things between my man and me that I wouldn't share with my ladies.
ReplyDeleteI also think it's healthy to have friendships out side of a relationship, whether your man is your best friend or not. Overall you need to have a friendship to make things work with your man, I couldn't imagine it any other way.
Its all very interesting! I guess though as its something that I want in a relationship. Its something that ultimately I should seek.
ReplyDeleteThat click with somebody whereby you find yourself telling them your most embarrassing moments lol! And everything else!
I do have that upon reflection-which is positive!