When you know she's got to go!

I have been friends with Debs, Selly, and Si for many years, and long may it continue! We have all experienced our own share of highs and lows, whilst continuing to support each other on our individual paths. I was raised as an only child, and these lovely ladies, like some of my other friends have been more like family to me, and I adore them each for it. Indeed no relationship, friend or otherwise is perfect, and I'm sure the girls will back me up on this, but true loving friends come through obstacles stronger, wiser and with a better insight into each other.

Now, through the years I've loved and lost friends. Sometimes because we've moved physically apart, or because of the choices I or they have made,  but there is one other reason that my post will address tonight, and that reason is because the friend in question, in a term first coined by Si, has become a 'FRIENEMY'!

Frienemy's usually start out very innocently, you have things in common they seem on your wavelength, you share jokes and good times, but soon they turn into well, an enemy. I've learnt that there are different types of frienemy's, and I shall tell you my experiences with two types.

THE BI*CH

My friendship with Rose (not her real name) started really well. We met at university, and from the get go we just clicked. Both of us had sons of similar ages, were both Cancerians, and had an interest in African Caribbean history. Before I knew it we were sharing good times as well as supporting each other unbiasedly through the bad. 4-years later our friendship remained intact, but I had begun noticing things about Rose, that I hadn't noticed before. 2 years prior to this change, my aunt had seen Rose at a market stall. 'Is your friend Rose OK?' my aunt had asked. 'Yes, why?' I had said. My aunt then replied, 'I don't know, she just seems angry, she was really rude to the market stall owner'. I didn't think anymore of it, but then I started seeing this angry Rose that my aunt had commented on years before.

I started noticing that Rose would be very rude and aggressive when I called her, for instance

Me: Gosh I was freezing today

Rose: We're in England........................................Long Pause..................................................

Every time I called her I wasn't sure what sort of mood she would be in so I would have to psyche myself up to call her. I would moan to Debs about what sort of attitude I had been confronted with until I couldn't take it anymore. The last straw for me was when she chastised me for forgetting her university start dates even though I was 9 months pregnant and OB's grandmother had just died. By now I was at the end of my tether and text her to say our friendship was over, but I wish her and the boys well. It was hard but felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I no longer had to avoid her phone calls and put up with her blatant rudeness, I could just spend my breath talking to my civilised friends.

THE VAMPIRE

All friends go through dramas this goes without saying, and part of friendship is being a supportive friend. But sometimes you can run into a vampire friend. The vampire is the sort of friend who needs your support and advice about every adult decision that they should be making. What colour shoes shall I buy? I know I'll ask Bi! Does he love me? I know I'll ask Bi! Shall I take the job? I know I'll ask Bi!

Natasha and Cleo were Vampire's the sad thing is they were actually lovely people, but I felt like they thought they somehow owned me and that I didn't have a life. I would spend time calling Natasha declaring that I was around because low and behold if she couldn't get through to me! I would be called a stranger after 1 day of no contact. It came to a point where I felt that they thought my life revolved around them. I was going through a serious crisis so didn't have as much time to be putting Natasha's ego at ease. A few later I received a text saying something along the lines of have a nice life, and that was that. You are no good to a Vampire if you have no blood to suck!

Cleo was a miserable Vampire, you know one of those people that are ALWAYS moaning, I started noticing that I would get miserable if I was around her. I also noticed that any bit of happiness I had, would get an instantly negative response. I distanced myself from Cleo who after a year wrote me to apologise. Even though we are in touch we are both appreciating each other from a distance!

Not all frienemy's are ladies though! I've experienced my fair share of male frienemy's too!

So ladies have you encountered a frienemy?