Reasons To Be Cheerful!

Reasons to be cheerful!

It was my birthday on Saturday and now I am 28! Upon reflection I would say I have definitely got to know 'who I am' during my twenties, but of course I am still learning. It feels a little weird as I keep thinking gosh I am nearly 30! Back in the day 30 onwards was really a 'big peoples' age to me, but now I'm embracing the close of my twenties and definitely looking forward to all the great things I'm sure the years ahead will bring. For some reason during my birthday weekend I have had the Ian Dury & The Blockheads tune 'Reasons To Be Cheerful' in my head, and it got me thinking of the things that make me cheerful, so I thought I would share them with you.....

Friends and Family

Where would I be without my friends and family? I have so many special people that illustrate my life from past and present, who have most definitely shaped the person that I am today. Just watching my children makes me cheerful. I was really touched that I received so much Facebook messages on my birthday from some people that I haven't spoken to in years but who had actually taken a minute to just think of me. I have a friend who I've known since I was 8, and even though she is Nottingham and I am down here and I can't remember the last time we actually spoke we always write to each other. The day before my birthday I got a 4 page letter from her and it was actually really cool to just have a different form of communication in my hands. We have been doing this since we were young as we use to write to each other in the 6 weeks holiday from school.

Religion/Spirituality

Having been brought up by an atheist I was always encouraged to follow my own convictions when it came to religion and my beliefs, therefore I have an open-mind and respect when it comes to religions aside from Christianity in which I am most familiar with. I would say that I am still on a path in regards to my relationship with the Most High, but I find much comfort in what I believe and also in what I am still learning. My Mum once said that she is glad that I have my faith because not believing is very lonely, and I'm thankful that that path wasn't for me.

Looking Good

There is nothing better than putting on a new outfit, having your hair done and feeling great! I love bargains so it's even better when I'm looking great on a budget! I recently brought a pair of beautiful Kurt Geiger shoes and cannot wait to rock them to see Fela! Even though I will probably buckle at some point during the day!

Eye Candy

There is something about a good looking man with locks. The other day at the leisure centre I saw him, he was like a chocolate Adonis, handsome face, athletic physique and gorgeous eyes and locks that framed his face - yummy. Oh lawdy! Our eyes met and we had a pleasant gaze, until my toddler decided to shout “MUMMY” and broke whatever daydream I was in. We had a chuckle and went about our business, there really is nothing like eye candy.

Great Food and Drink

I love great food and wine, my favourite food is lobster and steak, a perfect combo in my book. There is a franchise of restaurants in London called Belgos, or The Big Easy on the Kings Road is also great for this culinary delight. At the mo my favourite dessert is a blueberry loaf cake that Tesco sell. I am ashamed to say it but I ate most of this by myself yesterday even though it can serve up to 10 – hey, it was my birthday!

Holidays

There is nothing like being away from it all, and being somewhere new. I'm fortunate enough to have had some great holidays, and I'm very excited to be going away with my BDSS ladies in a few weeks to relax and have some fun – whoop whoop! I would love to go to Jamaica though and I am extremely jealous of my grandfather who flew out there today.

Brilliant Books

One of my all time favourite books and films is called 'Like Water for Chocolate', if you want an pulsating romance to keep you on the edge of your seat , check out this novel! I watched it when I was 10, and read the book when I was in my teens. I could honestly read it over and over because it's so exhilarating. I also would recommend 'Your Blues Ain't Like Mine' by Bebe Moore Campbell mother of Maia Campbell, it's a great book and I couldn't put it down when I read it.

Beautiful Songs

My musical taste is very eclectic and love a range of music from rock to opera, some of my favourite songs are Louis Armstrong 'We Have All The Time In The World', which just makes me feel good and reflect on life. Sam Cooke 'A change Is Gonna Come' is a masterpiece, 'Take My Breathe Away' by Berlin reminds me of my youth, I remember always wanting to get my childminders daughter to play it. 'Ave Maria' a song I've always envisaged having sung at my wedding, which I just think is beautiful. 'One More Chance' by Biggie, which makes me think of school days, and the first rap I ever knew off the top of my head. Peter Tosh 'Creation' I love this track, take a listen! The list could go on and on!

Zumba – Brazilian Dance!

Now I'm not an exercise addict, but us BDSS ladies have recently discovered Zumba, when I first tried this out I must say it almost made me drop and shout “I can't do this no more!” But what made me persevere was the many older ladies that I was surrounded by, who weren't even shedding a drop of sweat. After a few more lessons I was hooked, and it makes me very cheerful especially once I've completed a class and feel revitalised. Because the tunes are so good if I close my eyes tight enough I can sometimes imagine I'm at a rave, especially if I go down low enough!

There are many other things that make me cheerful, I could be here all night, but instead I would like to know what makes you cheerful?

Ciao!

When you know she's got to go!

I have been friends with Debs, Selly, and Si for many years, and long may it continue! We have all experienced our own share of highs and lows, whilst continuing to support each other on our individual paths. I was raised as an only child, and these lovely ladies, like some of my other friends have been more like family to me, and I adore them each for it. Indeed no relationship, friend or otherwise is perfect, and I'm sure the girls will back me up on this, but true loving friends come through obstacles stronger, wiser and with a better insight into each other.

Now, through the years I've loved and lost friends. Sometimes because we've moved physically apart, or because of the choices I or they have made,  but there is one other reason that my post will address tonight, and that reason is because the friend in question, in a term first coined by Si, has become a 'FRIENEMY'!

Frienemy's usually start out very innocently, you have things in common they seem on your wavelength, you share jokes and good times, but soon they turn into well, an enemy. I've learnt that there are different types of frienemy's, and I shall tell you my experiences with two types.

THE BI*CH

My friendship with Rose (not her real name) started really well. We met at university, and from the get go we just clicked. Both of us had sons of similar ages, were both Cancerians, and had an interest in African Caribbean history. Before I knew it we were sharing good times as well as supporting each other unbiasedly through the bad. 4-years later our friendship remained intact, but I had begun noticing things about Rose, that I hadn't noticed before. 2 years prior to this change, my aunt had seen Rose at a market stall. 'Is your friend Rose OK?' my aunt had asked. 'Yes, why?' I had said. My aunt then replied, 'I don't know, she just seems angry, she was really rude to the market stall owner'. I didn't think anymore of it, but then I started seeing this angry Rose that my aunt had commented on years before.

I started noticing that Rose would be very rude and aggressive when I called her, for instance

Me: Gosh I was freezing today

Rose: We're in England........................................Long Pause..................................................

Every time I called her I wasn't sure what sort of mood she would be in so I would have to psyche myself up to call her. I would moan to Debs about what sort of attitude I had been confronted with until I couldn't take it anymore. The last straw for me was when she chastised me for forgetting her university start dates even though I was 9 months pregnant and OB's grandmother had just died. By now I was at the end of my tether and text her to say our friendship was over, but I wish her and the boys well. It was hard but felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I no longer had to avoid her phone calls and put up with her blatant rudeness, I could just spend my breath talking to my civilised friends.

THE VAMPIRE

All friends go through dramas this goes without saying, and part of friendship is being a supportive friend. But sometimes you can run into a vampire friend. The vampire is the sort of friend who needs your support and advice about every adult decision that they should be making. What colour shoes shall I buy? I know I'll ask Bi! Does he love me? I know I'll ask Bi! Shall I take the job? I know I'll ask Bi!

Natasha and Cleo were Vampire's the sad thing is they were actually lovely people, but I felt like they thought they somehow owned me and that I didn't have a life. I would spend time calling Natasha declaring that I was around because low and behold if she couldn't get through to me! I would be called a stranger after 1 day of no contact. It came to a point where I felt that they thought my life revolved around them. I was going through a serious crisis so didn't have as much time to be putting Natasha's ego at ease. A few later I received a text saying something along the lines of have a nice life, and that was that. You are no good to a Vampire if you have no blood to suck!

Cleo was a miserable Vampire, you know one of those people that are ALWAYS moaning, I started noticing that I would get miserable if I was around her. I also noticed that any bit of happiness I had, would get an instantly negative response. I distanced myself from Cleo who after a year wrote me to apologise. Even though we are in touch we are both appreciating each other from a distance!

Not all frienemy's are ladies though! I've experienced my fair share of male frienemy's too!

So ladies have you encountered a frienemy?