So on a lazy Sunday afternoon and after an eventful week, I'm using this opportunity to wind down and catch up on my TV programmes, filling the gaps with some that I don't normally watch but which caught my interest.
Dinner Date (bear with me people!) is a show where people 'hope to find true love through their love of good food'. You have a singleton (we'll refer to him as 'John') who embarks on three blind dates where the prospective ladies will cook dinner for him; he selects his dates by choosing the best three menus from five. After attending all three dates, he would then choose his most compatible date and take them out to dinner to return the compliment.
Date 1 was a pleasant enough woman, articulate and good company. 'John' was worried about those awkward silent moments but this date proved otherwise. Bearing in mind they had never met before, rugby loving 'John' was instantly attracted and the feeling appeared to be mutual. Both used the word 'cute' to describe the other to the camera and they seemed to hit it off really well. He had a love of elephants and she happened to be wearing a necklace with an elephant pendant, he loved red wine and she unknowingly had uncorked his most favourite red wine, they both love travelling but most of all, she preferred rugby over football - result!! He wolfed down her food and really struggled to sit still and not help out - added result!! Seems as though the game was over before it even got started as they couldn't have had more in common and their chemistry was undeniable. She was definitely encouraged and wanted to see him again.
Date 2 was a Brazilian lady who at 6 feet tall was a good four inches taller than our 'John'; something that became quite obvious to both at the point of meeting. She had dressed down all the things she didn't like in a man and this included those who were noticeably shorter than her (which I suppose is fair enough at 6ft!). They eventually moved past this and her Brazilian menu seemed to go down a treat, considering he hadn't ever tried half the dishes before. Although it was a polite and enjoyable date, they seemed to have to work towards having chemistry which naturally, isn't something that requires work. She had in no uncertain terms said that she thought rugby was a gay man's sport (falling and rubbing up on each other - like footballers don't do the same?!) and although the date ended pleasantly, it didn't seem to spark off properly for either of them.
Date 3 (who looked to be the youngest of the three) loved the idea of cooking a meal for man who would rave about it to his friends. Looks were apparently not important, although she loved nice eyes and smile and was looking for a 'wow factor'. 'John' seemed to be immediately taken with Date 3 and couldn't take his eyes off her. However, she when asked said she doesn't fancy him but is looking forward to the dinner (not the date, then!). I think it's safe to say she really wasn't feeling him at all as there were clearly moments of 'awkward silence' but she was polite enough to see the evening through, reconfirming at the end of the night that he simply isn't her type. 'John' however was completely smitten.
Now it was time for 'John' to decide who he would like to see again and take out to dinner and the two who will be receiving a ready meal for one. I thought his choice was a simple one since he had found Date 1 attractive, mutually engaging and lots in common but needless to say; he went with Date 3 - the date who gave him the lowest score!!! I had to do a double take because I thought I had heard wrong - he even acknowledged that he was more flirty with her but wasn't sure whether or not it was received well!
To kill it further, Date 3 said that "if he chose me I would be flattered but relieved if he didn't". In the end, Date 1 (whilst eating her ready meal for one!) said that she felt strangely relieved and was in fact glad at the end result. I feel that she was trying to save face having already admitted to wanting to see him again earlier on.
To me, the show reflected exactly what's going on in today's world of dating. Once the element of choice is involved, the grass sometimes looks much greener when in actual fact it's a mirage. He was able to see all the qualities of Date 1 and the similarities that they shared and admitted to being attracted upon meeting and getting to know her, but it still wasn't enough to intercept the physical attributes that Date 3 appeared to offer, even though she wasn't as forthcoming. Maybe this is what my male friends mean when they say that men love a chase more so than someone who lets them know they're interested.
Am I the only one confused by today's world of dating?? Are there no old school morals or practices left? What do we single women have to do not to cross that very fine line of showing interest but still allowing the men their scope of chasing? What do you think BDSSers? Any tips you single men out there?
- Dates 1 and 2 are still single
- Date 3 stayed for dessert
- 'John' is still single!!
The joys of dating!
ReplyDeleteI'm not surprised that he went for just looks, as I guess under the circumstances, he probably wanted to maximise and take advantage of the situation at hand. I mean lady number 3 probably would never agree to a second date with him in any other circumstance than on the show, in real life he may not have even got her telephone number, let alone had a meal cooked for him.
And quite honestly as crazy as it may sound I think I might be inclined to make the same choice. If I put myself forward for a dating show, website, speed dating situation I think I'd be more shallow as I am taking my time out to actively put myself out there, I'd want a good return on my added conscious effort and investment. I'd want to exchange numbers with the best looking person I'd find as long as they are not a complete a-hole! and then if you consider the short space of time there is to make that decision its probably not long enough to assess each option to the best standard, so its easy to go for the person who gives you a quick spark of feeling rather than the more subtle nice feelings!
He was probably thinking nothing ventured nothing gained! Let me go for the hottie lol!
As for the whole business of men wanting someone to chase I imagine that this is true for some men, but there are men out there who may lose interest if they have feelings for you and your playng completely, ridiculously hard to get trying to create "the chase".
I think there comes a stage where the juvenile game playing stops and its just about the genuineness of feelings.
LOL The joys of dating indeed!
ReplyDeleteHaving read your post Debs I now realise I have actually watched this episode and I too was shocked at his choice, and couldn't help laughing at his error when he clearly wasn't going to get another date with date number 3!
Applying this to myself I can say yea fool him because he concentrated on looks rather than the whole package, but it's not like I haven't done this myself. I have met many wonderful guys, but if I am not physically attracted to them, I have just not been able to get over it, as shallow as it may sound. I think that there has to be a spark that you find attractive to endear you enough to want to put the effort in. On the other hand I have been in situations where I didn't find the man attractive at first but by giving him a few dates he's grown on me and has become very attractive.
Games hey, well I think when anybody (male or female)are too available it may not be very attractive to the other party, and may seem desperate. I do believe that men like a good chase, but obviously you have to make indications that you are interested but have a life. I think men should feel that they are in a competition and if they play their cards right the prize will be the woman they're interested in.
I hear that Sel - Carpe Diem (seize the day) and all that!! Personally, I suppose although I'd also be tempted to go for the eye candy, I'd try to force myself to work out whether or not that is all the attraction is for me. But then, I suppose it does also depend on what the seeker was seeking!!
ReplyDeleteI too have gone for looks but would say that most of my boyfriends were not initially heart-stoppers (sorry if you're reading this, but it's true!!) One in particular very nearly repulsed me in the beginning but tore it up on the soca dancefloor and humour wise, and the rest very quickly became history.
Quite true Bi re: interested but having a life! This episode showed me that even with a gameplay of ultimate sophistication (let's face it, it is a game where some people are still concerned) as I believe Date 1 to have done, you may lose out on the 'date' but be rewarded with your dignity.