Relaxing: My Creamy Crack Addiction and Crazy Hairdressers Too!

My Bad Hair Days!

So I've finally taken the plunge! After inspiration from my fellow BDSS lady, Si, I got to thinking what the f*ck is going on with my hair!

Many moons ago, I had natural hair which I use to straighten with the hot comb. Every few weeks I would get the chair, cloth and pressing oil whilst placing the metal comb on the stove. This was the only way I could get around having straightish hair, because of my mum vehemently told me, there was no way I was relaxing my hair growing up. This process continued until 2001, when my eldest son was a baby. I no longer had the time to sit by the stove heating up iron combs and I also had concerns about the safety implications of having a baby around whilst doing this.

Suddenly relaxing seemed the most easiest option, I would have bone straight hair without all the fuss (or so I thought) and hey presto I'm good to go! So there you have it, after my first taste of creamy crack I was hooked. At this time because my hair had been natural for so long my hair was past my shoulders and was in an healthy state.

So for the next few years this continued, but now a few hours by the stove was replaced by 5 hours at the hairdressers, getting my scalp burnt by chemicals and being quiet a few pounds short at the end of it. It was an addictive cycle because I would always moan about the negatives, but rest assured I would be back in 8 weeks! Things started to fall apart when I entered a beauty pageant in 06, obviously the whole thing was mostly based on looks and so I wanted my hair extra perfect.

Instead of sticking with my old hairdresser I went to one that a friend had recommended (big mistake). I wanted extra length so decided to opt for tracks as a one off. I was pleased with the results and after a few weeks went back to my regular hairdresser to get the tracks taken out. To this day I don't know what the 'new' hairdresser did, but inches of my hair had gone! I was so distraught, especially as I had not opted for this change. At the time I was convinced it was my regular hairdresser who must have chopped off my hair when taking them out, and so went back to the new hairdressers, as I so wanted the length of own hair replaced. Sure enough I got it, and a few weeks later went back to the new hairdressers to get the tracks taken out, and low and behold more of my hair had gone! I now realised that it was the new hairdresser's! My friend who is the voice of superstition told me that I should never have let a pregnant woman touch my hair as they ruin it, and sho nuff the hairdresser was pregnant!

So I now had a creamy crack and track addiction! After a while my scalp began to suffer and so did my hair. Because I didn't weave my whole head and mixed my own hair with tracks it started to break and the tight cornrows at the back of my head which were pain to undo, courtesy of yet another hairdresser didn't help. My scalp also became a nightmare, since getting chicken pox at 21, it had become extra sensitive to relaxing. I still persisted though, until the itchiness, and scabs became unbearable. I decided to go natural because of it a few years back, but old habits die hard and after a year I was back on it. I went to two white trichologists, complaining of my scalp, and they both said it's because I was relaxing my hair but what they said didn't matter, I wanted that straight, easy hair, that was until this year....

After seeing Si's hair transformation I started questioning what I was doing, the scabs, the breaking hair, shedding of the weave were just all getting to me. By now my scalp was so sensitive I couldn’t even use normal hair moisturisers without them burning, let alone the relaxer. The final straw was sitting in the hairdressers chair for 5 hours and thinking what on earth am I doing? I decided I could no longer do this, I had hair thinning around the sides, burns on my scalps, straggly hair. This wasn't hair care, it was hair torture!

So here I am, it's been months since I've relaxed my hair, and I know my hairdresser is probably thinking where I am. I actually saw her in Dalston and quickly hurried past, I had been her loyal servant for years, but I came to the realisation that no one is going to take better care of my hair than me. She was like a dealer giving me the creamy crack I craved even though she knew full well my hair was just a shadow of its former self.

Don't get me wrong it's been a shock to the system having regrowth to contend with! I threw in the towel last week in regards to straightening the natural bits. With this weather it didn't stay straight for long, and no longer blended with the half weave wig that hid a multitude of sins. When I went to the hair shop the other day I no longer brought all the branded products, but chose organic products and natural oils which seem much more easier for my hair and scalp to adjust to.

I can no longer run my hands through my hair and find myself playing with it as though it was a long lost friend who's now returned. Yes, it can be unruly and I'm still adjusting to this new 'look', but hey I can now look in mirror and say this is me, a new stage is beginning! I haven't gone for the BC or 'Big Cut' yet because, well I just don't think my face suits short hair, but to be honest with these straggly relaxed bits making me look like a fraggle I'm not sure how long I will be able to keep them for anyway! Plus my scalp is in anti brush or comb mode, when doing my hair I feel like a child again wincing from the comb! It hurts, and I'm not use to any sort of pain when brushing anyway!

Don't get me wrong I understand why women relax their hair, and it can be healthy if treated with care, but my relaxing process was turning into a nightmare! So ladies have you had any hair nightmares? Do you prefer the relaxed or natural look? Could you handle natural hair? Is it a myth that natural hair is difficult?