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Tuesday, 9 November 2010

He Won't Support My Natural Hair Dream...

Hey bdssr's just to let you know I have been indoctrinated by the YouTube 'natural movement’ (according to my other half!)… yep I have decided to forgo my relaxer and go back to my roots!! :-D

Now whilst I am quite excited about my new hair, apparently my decision to cut off my relaxer has already cost lots of money and ruined my relationship!

You see firstly a lot of these YouTube ‘naturals’ also do makeup tutorials and so I got a bit carried away in Boots the other day and spent a lot of money on make up (plus I frequent often).
I have also spent every spare minute of this (and last) weekend on YouTube trying to educate myself about natural hair care - hence neglecting my other half! lol

So my natural hair journey has already got off to a troubled start and I only have about one inch of natural hair on my head! however I am really excited about my decision and I’m anxiously waiting for the dreaded… (Relaxed haired ladies look away now) …regrowth! lol

Another major bump in the road to naturaldom is the fact that for the past two weeks my other half has been looking at me as if I have gone crazy and he has actually told me I won’t look good rocking the natural hair that the good Lord gave me!
Not only that … whilst I was watching all these natural women in all their kinky glory, he actually said and I quote: “none of these women actually look good Si!

So I told him in no uncertain terms that everyone has different idea’s of what looks good and to me these women rocking their ‘wash and goes’, ‘twas’ and ‘defined curls’ confidently look great to me!

I also told him that it is HE who has been indoctrinated… with the idea that natural hair is not a good look… you mean to tell me he would rather have me putting the ‘Creamy Crack’ on my head resulting in dry itching scalp or rocking a weave for the rest of my life!? Why because the idea of my natural hair, which I might add he has never seen is so unappealing?

I mean my recent hair has just been lacking that ump! that va va voom! that wow factor!
It did grow to shoulder length last year after I wore a weave for about a year, however despite my best efforts to maintain the length every time I went to my hairdresser she said it was breaking, and at the root on one side! kmt

So I cut it into what a lot of people said was a really nice short style, and I quote ‘you could be a model’ type comments, however even that short style was hard to maintain (six weekly trips to get it relaxed and trimmed!) between then and now maintaining my hair has started to feel long!

Which is something I don’t think my other half gets, he only cares about the end results and not all the drama in between (i.e., the burning scalp, the itch you can’t scratch, the split ends, the hair turning brown, the constant blow drying and tonging to make it look decent etc) it was all just becoming laborious and the idea of ‘wash(ing) and go(ing)’ really appeals to me right about now.

Now don’t get me wrong I think no matter how you wear your hair as long as you feel good rocking it then it does not matter if its natural, relaxed, weaved or loc’d … as I have worn a number of hair styles over the years from when I first had a relaxed short Jada Pinkett cut, to a long weave, to braids with gelled down fringes… I have rocked them all and I have a wealth of photos on FB to prove it, lol.

But I have come to the conclusion that my relaxed hair is just not healthy and when I think back to the thick head of healthy hair I had as a child I miss it.
My relaxed hair is flat and limp, my hair of old had some umph to it!

Therefore I am embarking on a natural hair growth journey, and trust me after watching all the Youtube video’s it is a ‘journey’ back to healthy natural hair.
(If you have a minute have a look at African Export, Rustic Beauty, NappyChronicles and Kimmaytube on Youtube…as I said there is a natural movement going on!)

So what do you think bdssr’s have I gone crazy?  Is my boyfriend right, will I look atrocious rocking my natural curls? I mean I have assured him that if his predictions are correct and I end up looking terrible, that the creamy crack is available in all good PAK stores! So it’s really not such a big deal… or is it?


  1. Well having just put a bit of weave in my head at the weekend I'm not sure I should comment lol but I will.
    Many moons ago - in my early twenties I went to the barbershop and got a level 1, and for a good few years after that I never looked back. I had it coloured blonde and when it started to grow out again I'd get it cut again! I absolutely loved it. I rocked that style with bags of confidence and I felt great. I think that everything I have done since growing it out feels so much less edgy in comparison.

    The beauty of being a woman I think is that we can do whatever you want with our hair. You know those days where one day in the office someones got a short bob hairstyle and the next the hairs flowing past the shoulders lol! I love that! Men go barbers and get the same dead haircut each week lol!

    There is nothing wrong with trying out a new style, so I think in spite of your other half's reservations you should go for it and at the end of the day hair grows back!

  2. Whoo hoo Si!! well done!! You know what, the other day I was moaning to Debs that I actually just want to cut my hair off! Being black women our hair is just one whole topic in itself. Now I say well done as I know forgoing the creamy crack is not EASY, I've tried and tried, and somehow I always give in. Because of all those harsh chemicals in creamy crack I think I can manage natural and then before I know it I make my excuse and I'm back on the weave and relaxer!It's like a never ending cycle!

    I know deep down I've been indoctrinated to western values in regards to looks, I've even thought what will they say at work if I turn up natural? How will I cope in heat? Can I be bothered? I think these are all excuses and deep down I know I should not be thinking this way.

    I know many people that have locks up or stopped relaxing and I'm always impressed with how liberated and refreshed they look. Even Solange (Beyonce's sister) said she just got fed up one day, and cut off her hair.

    I've always wanted to see what my headshape looks like, and like Sel said we are women and can experiment, so you may just see me with short back and sides one day! Every month I sit in the hairdressers chair and tolerate 5 hours of burning, heat and exhaustion, I would love to be able to just get up and go!

    I'm going to check out Youtube to see if I can be reconditioned! I'm fortunate that OB doesn't mind what my hair looks like, natural or otherwise but the proof is in the pudding!
    But yes gwan girl! You may inspire me to go that way too, your other half will get use to it, and natural is very versatile so you won't be stuck with the limp hair that relaxer can create!


  3. Thanks ladies I'm definitely going to give it a good effort! Lol
    My other half will just have to suck it up... he come like hair police man!