Why do some men insist on addressing you as if you're one of their boys.
Its one of my real bugbears (a long with being called princess).
I'm serious I hate this, I'm not your bredrin, your b, your bruv, your homie, your dog.
Whatever happened to addressing your female friend like your female friend and not your boy.
I understand we are close, but as much as I will sit down with you and watch a football game and become interested, or listen to you go on about the challenges of your day at work, I might listen to some hip-hop or whatever music you like (I've only now deleted the drake from my phone- my point is I'm not a huge hip-hop fan but you make concessions for each other!), or watch a film you like (I found inception tiring! Although you loved it).
We can sit down and talk about anything, politics, religion (although this discussion gets heated), music, x factor etc.
We are friends I know (and I guess all those words are said in an affectionate sounding way- well as much as is possible), they are terms used to greet someone nicely within our community.
But I don't have a penis or beard, or a baritone voice, I never grew up with you, so we never chatted up girls together, or had our first spliff together, or sat around in the barbers with you on a saturday getting your hair cut planning some "moves" together. I'm just not that bredrin you like to holla at me as! You've still got your boys!
My tomboy days have long since gone, in those days it would have been great to be thought of as one of the boys as it meant you were cool with the boys you used to fancy.
Also gone is my love for lyrics such as "your like my homie" butta love next! Or "me and my bitch". Me and my bitch Jaheem!
Maybe I'm alone on this one, maybe I'm being uptight, highly strung whatever...you can think that!
Just don't call me bredrin, bruv or b!
Address women as women!
Over to you bdss'ers!!
What's your bugbear? Get it off your chest!
Wow!! I love when my man bothers to address me by anything other than my name. He complains when i call him babe/babes etc as its to girly, he hates to be seen in front of his friends as being 'to loved up'
ReplyDeleteI think if you have accepted and established that its all done in an affectionate way i would embrace it girl! because some of us would die for that! Imagine being addressed formally by your name all the time :-( !!! I agree that things like dog,and bitch etc etc etc are a bit far, but if you are in a relationship then you are friends i.e homie, B = bredrin! maybe you can ask him to add things like babes and baby or are those words already used?
Lol see anonymous me and your partner are on a similar wavelength.
ReplyDeleteBabes is too girly for him, the same way that B, bruv, bredrin etc etc is too masculine for me! Although you wouldn't mind it.
Everyone has got their little likes, dislikes and preferences when it comes to these little endearing names we create for our friends, partners.
Whats does everyone else like to be called?
I agree with anonymous, if it comes from an affectionate place, then a pet name no matter how unconventional is nice... 'You know your my Bitch, I love you!'
ReplyDeleteHowever hollering bitch in public is not the same as babe! lol
I also agree that being called by your real name all the time would be strange and probably feel a bit clinical!
Oh come on, if i had a man and he was calling me his boys short cuts it would just annoy me, because rightly said i am not your boy i don't behave like a guy, i certainly don't look like one, yes we do share a lot of things and i may enjoy the ps3 but please i know i'm a girl and it would be nice if only he would recognize that. Its not a break his neck type of situation or lets get angry and not speak unless you call me honey but, remember it feels nice, much more affectionate than bro, or dude... smile at least he is still your man.
ReplyDeleteTrue some people don't even have a significant other to call them pet names!
ReplyDeleteI think maybe pet names evolve over a relationship. In the beginning you make up really stupid names like snuggle butt! But eventually you start calling each other babe/babes!
Don't ask me why but I googled and this is the result!
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/nicknames.asp
Check it out if you need some pet name ideas!
Snuggle Butt... I hope you haven't called your boo such, that would cause for a side eye and a raised eyebrow lol
ReplyDeleteI can´t reveal our pet name´s for fear of shame! lol
ReplyDeleteLol I wish I could remember yours and your other halves pet names....I'd out you lol! Just kidding not really. I do think you should share though. I shared my joy at being called homie with you all, its only fair.
ReplyDeleteI had a quick look at that website I wasnt inspired. I saw pookie and Indian warrior and I stopped browsing lol!
Made for make up - you get what I'm saying lol! and your right its not a relationship breaker. We are still cool.
Haaa I love being called babes, or B (as in Bianca) . For me it's a sign of affection and I like it, I wouldn't like my man to call me by my first name it would just feel strange, but saying that I like most people I know to use pet names for me, it sounds less formal. I've been called 'woman' and just thought the guy was an arrogant fool. Blud etc is just too ghetto and fortunately I've never experienced a man that went there!
ReplyDeleteMy male friends tend to call me B, and would be reprimanded if they called me anything else
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could deal with my man calling me 'bruv' or including me as one of his 'man dem' and all things similar and fortunate, I think Boo is the type of guy who would feel way out of place to refer to his other half as though I were a man ("Later!" - I can just hear it!!)
ReplyDeleteI also am partial to being addressed with terms of endearments. We calls each other babes but it tends to stick with first names if we're warring, BDSS call me Debs and market traders in S.Leone call me 'babygal'!! :D
My eldest nephew calls me Aunt D - which I absolutely adore :D
Yes Debs, I also only use full names for ridiculing purposes! lol
ReplyDeleteAs do some ignorant Africans when they think they're the ones educating me on how to spell/pronounce my own name:
ReplyDeleteDe-BOR-ah!! lol
As a child, I used ot love it when Mum would take it upon herself to correct people and subsequently put them in their place:
"Her birth certificate is D-E-B-R-A; nah ow I spel am ('that's how I spelt it)!!!"