I want a husband STAT!!

I woke up early Saturday morning in a real reflective mood.

I did what I normally do when I wake up early but don't particularly want to get out of bed... I went online looking at various tweets and facebook statuses... someone went from in a relationship to "single". Another person was talking about she would go "under the jail" if she had a daughter and a man disrespected her - she nips disrespect in the bud (my kind of women!)
Another person wished his wife a happy birthday and said thank you for being a loving and caring wife...
I don't know if it's because I watched four weddings the night before and one of the brides who was older wore what I considered the most dowdy, unflattering outfit I have every seen (I know to her it was probably perfect and that's what counts!) but it was at that point I said to my partner I don't want to wear an outfit like that on my wedding day (i.e., I don't want to be an older bride!)
That coupled with the husbands birthday speech made me think oh... I want a husband... STAT! Lol  like right now! (your getting an insight into my irrational  mind)

Now you all know I've recently turned 30 and with that came the usual banter about when Mr Si (the lady on twitter was also talking about people abusing husband/wife titles! Hehe) is going to put a ring on it! I got the talk from my father right down to an older work colleague, especially as me and Mr Si have been together for almost a decade! My colleague was almost shouting "what is he waiting for?"
My response was 'it's on the cards' or maybe I said 'it has been discussed...'

Recently some people have just done it! As in... they Met, Fell in love and Married within a short space of time or Met,  Fell in love, Planned to give up everything and get married in a short space of time!

I kind of admire (envy) that. You see almost a decade in I think why did we not do that? Also at a decade in I think we have definitely missed that 'whirlwind' window of opportunity to rush off somewhere exotic (or not) and just do it.
Now I think life has got in the way (i.e., work, raising children, finances) and any talk of marriage is puncuated with an "after we have done this..." or "after we have done that..."

I guess I wrote all of this to ask any married people or non married; even non believing in marriage people (is it just a piece of paper?) what made you just do it? or not just do it? Also how did you know she or he was 'the one' you wanted to marry? what makes a women marriage material fellas and women what makes a man marriage material? Am I even marriage material? How do you know?

Also I was ease dropping on my colleague who was having the same discussion of "when" with another colleague who has been with her partner the same length of time as myself. Now her response to the question was interesting. She basically said that if  she and her partner had gotten married right at the beginning then so be it; but as they have left it so long and also depending on the side of the bed she wakes up on she somethings thinks it would be nice to marry him and then at other times she is glad she is not married as she thinks if one day she wants to go off and do her own things she does not have any ties! interesting...

Anyways what are your thoughts BDSSers?

What If He Doesn't Want To Marry You?

Well done! After years of kissing frogs, b*tching to your girls that all men are dogs, and swearing that you will remain celibate for the rest of your life after yet another let down you have finally found him – Your very own Mr nearly Right!

Attractive? – TICK!

Intelligent? - TICK!

Spiritual or Religious? TICK!

Ambitious? – TICK!

No ex drama? – TICK!

Holds down a job? – TICK!

No serious emotional baggage? – TICK!

Honest? – TICK!

Loves you? - One big fat TICK!

Wants to get married? Errrrrmmmmmm

A few weeks ago I was speaking to a close male friend who was giving me the lowdown on his relationship. For once he seemed extremely content with his girlfriend, and I admired her for being the one who was finally getting him to settle down. My friend is approaching 30 and desperately wants to have children, his girlfriend on the other hand also wants children put his vehemently refusing until he 'Put A Ring On It'. My friend was adamant that there is no way he is EVER getting married. I was shocked at how strongly he felt against marriage, and he said something to the effect of “It will be like I'm handcuffed to her forever”. Shocked at his attitude I said “Well having a baby also means you are attached to that person forever, without the option of divorce”. But no matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise he wouldn't listen. Eventually I threw in the towel and admitted defeat, this man was definitely not hearing it!

My male friend was by no means the only man I had come across that felt this way. I have heard often from female friends that their partners would have a baby at the drop of a hat, but when it came to marriage there was a big drama. Some women relented and had a child, but years down the line they still remained 'Miss', others held steadfast and either got their wish in the end, or decided to walk away, because marriage was firmly on their Mr Right check list, and the men they were with,  definitely didn't want to tick the marriage box.

My own opinion of marriage has definitely changed over the years, growing up I actually didn't have much examples of successful marriages, or even marriages in general. Instead I was brought up by a army of single strong women doing it alone, so it was hard to know what was needed to make a marriage work, or even what a marriage really was. I actually just tended to think about what the day would be like, or what I would wear, rather than the man that I would vow to spend the rest of my life with. A few weeks ago I went to church and the Priest said that he asked for a donation from couples for the church maintenance when they were married. He must have asked one lady for the donation after she had listed the thousands of pounds she had spent on flowers, dresses, cars etc. and when he mentioned the donation (which wasn't a lot) she was baffled. That was pretty much my view of marriage, materialistic things and a few vows thrown in. I also think that as we all know it's hard enough finding the 'Right One' without throwing marriage into the mix so it wasn't actually something that I found to be a huge deal-breaker in my quest to find him.

I will now call that nativity on my part, marriage isn't just 'The Day' but so much more. Whether you are married in a church or registry office you are making a serious commitment not only to the person you are getting married to, but religiously, legally, and spiritually in front of family and friends. I totally understand the annoyance that women feel when their partners are dragging their feet, it may be perceived as though they do not want to make that commitment to them which throws in many questions as to their future together and also how the man actually perceives the relationship. That being said I know a number of marriages that have only lasted a matter of months, and relationships without marriage that have lasted many many many years, so I don't think marriage is for everyone, or is even a sign a relationship will last.

Would it make me walk away from a great thing if he didn't want to say 'I do'? I really find that hard to answer, I've never been in that situation but would feel like he was rejecting me, which would lead me onto loads of other thoughts about his attitude to the relationship. If we both weren't keen on marriage then that would be different, but when one party is for it and the other isn't that's an hard one to resolve.

The problem is there are many single beautiful, intelligent women out there so it begs the question that Si raised in her blog post Too 'Picky' (Is this why your single?) Can you really afford to walk away from a nearly Mr Right man, just because he doesn't want to get married? What if you never meet anyone else that is even a patch on him? 

So can any men shed light on what makes some men scared of marriage? Ladies is marriage important to you? Would a partner not wanting to get married make you walk away?

Ciao!

Royal Wedding (Prince William and Kate)

Ah the most talked about wedding of 2011 is almost upon us! it will be taking place tomorrow as if you didn't know lol! You can't escape the hype surrounding Prince William and Kates wedding!

While I wish the couple well, I can't help but chuckle at all the hysteria surrounding it!

From the very first day that the engagement was announced, I've not been able to read a newspaper or watch a news program without some sort of article or lead story being written about it! We Brits love a Royal wedding.

First there was the initial relief that he asked her at all which I guess just perpetuates the idea that every woman is incomplete unless she has a husband by her side!

Next there has been all the anticipation about what her dress will be like, and who will be designing it! As if Katherine is some sort of style icon! whoever ran out and bought imitaitons of the blue dress she wore in the picture above, shame on you! Its an okay dress but it's not much to get excited by. Although I'm sure she will look fabulous in her wedding dress.

Then there is also all the hype surrounding the guestlist, who has been invited and who hasn't! If like me and Tony Blair you haven't been invited...not to worry...you're in the majority lol!

I can count on one hand the number of people I know who will be venturing down to Westminster to try and catch a glimpse of the couple on the day, the majority of people I know will be like me not be bothered one bit and will probably try to avoid it on tv.

But BDSS'ers what are your views and thoughts and feelings of this Royal wedding? What about the hype surrounding it? Do you care?