Successful Women = Failed Relationships (Beautiful People Problems?)

What is it with gorgeous, successful women such as Halle Berry, J-lo and Jennifer Aniston (to name a few) who appear to have it all (successful careers, copious amounts of money, gorgeous children, Hollywood friends, and did I say gorgeous already) yet they appear to 'fail' in love?

The latest victim of the successful women/failed relationship quandary is none other than J-Lo (multi talented actrist, singer, dancer and mother) who I'm sure your all aware has recently split from her husband of seven years Marc Anthony (see here).

In the article above J-Lo says she is a "hopeless romantic and a passionate person when it comes to love" in spite of that and for whatever reason; (was it her, was it him or both of them?) she says: "I love myself enough to walk away from that now" 
She walked away and with that decision marriage number three bite's the dust for Miss Jenny From The Block (the same block as us normal women it would seem - despite the successes).

Another unlucky in love yet successful women is Jennifer Aniston. Now Jennifer Aniston in Friends was the desirable one (remember 'the Rachel'); when she was married to Brad Pitt well... it speaks for itself! lol

Since she split from Brad Pitt it all went down hill. Numerous newspaper columns dedicated to Jennifer's apparent unlucky in love escapades.  For some reason she just can't seem to make it last, at least that is how she has been portrayed in the media. Take this new relationship she is in with Justin Theroux they are generating a lot of media attention but not necessary the nice kind with titles such as Love at last  and Therapy sessions so they don’t “ruin” their relationship it's all very cynical regarding whether it will last *quote: 'Has Jennifer finally got herself into a lifelong relationship?* (also some people are calling her a relationship wrecker owing to the fact that Justin Theroux was in a relationship for 14 years prior to Jennifer).

Halle Berry... the consensus is she is hot (getting better with age), academy award winning actress, former model, spokesperson and mother. Alas her ex-husband Eric Benet has recently remarried. Her abusive relationship with David Justice is well documented; along with her most recent breakup and subsequent custody battle with the father of her child Gabriel Aubry. 

Whilst she is currently in a new relationship with Olivier Martinez (Kylie Minogue’s Ex!) she has talked openly in the past regarding her relationship 'issues' and accusations of 'crazy women syndrome' (you know when men say 'you are crazy!' and it sticks) have followed Ms Berry for some years now although not substantiated.

All of the above got me wondering why do such beautiful and successfulwomen appear to struggle to develop long lasting relationships?

Three things popped out to me as I was reading up on their 'failed' relationships:

1) Broken Homes (In the case of Halle and Jennifer)  - Both were brought up in homes in which their parent's we're separated. After Jennifer Aniston split from Brad Pitt in 2005 she was quoted as saying her marriage brought up memories of her parents stormy relationship and subsequent divorce and she felt "fear, mistrust, doubt and insecurities" during her relationship with Brad Pitt. She is also reported to have said "when your parents split up, it's impossible to delude yourself about fairy tale romance and happy endings"

Source 

2) Clashing Ego's - Jealousy, Envy and competition in a normal relationship is difficult to negotiate (or will be the death of any normal relationship). Coupled with your lives played out in the limelight I'm guessing it would be enough to send the most grounded people doolally! 
A even more interesting theory I read suggested successful people (famous celebrities) did not get enough attention as a children, therefore they crave the limelight not only regarding their careers but also in a relationship; and not just attention but also adoration and praise which can be difficult to give if the other partner is not as successful hence the jealousy, envy and competition.

Source

3) Beauty Concept -  My favourite suggestion is women such as Halle Berry, J-Lo and Jennifer Aniston are 'Beauty Concepts' or what I would call examples of the Halo Effect: 

"The ‘halo effect’ causes others to assume that those who are more beautiful are also better in every other way as well. For some inexplicable reason, beauty becomes extrapolated as an indicator not only of personality, but talent and success as well"

Basically women want to be them and men want to be with them ha ha! (Sorry). Possibly the beauty concept does not live up to the reality and if you look beyond the beauty and successful careers  (i.e., at their personal lives) on paper as pointed out by Necole Bitchy above Halle would be a 40+ single mum with a string of broken relationships behind her.

So I ask you this BDSS'ers can you think of any other reason's why successful women such as J-lo, Halle Berry and Jennifer Aniston seem to be unsuccessful at love?

Also is this a phenomenon that affects all beautiful people even those not in the limelight? 
Finally is beauty really a curse and do you or someone you know suffer from beautiful people problems?

Addictive relationships - Cryptonite Man

Everybody has something that they are addicted to and can not do without.

My own personal addiction is to gorgeous shoes, whenever I am out shopping I have to browse the shoe department/section without fail just incase there is a lovely and gorgeous pair of shoes ready to be purchased.

Other people are addicted to handbags, some to food, some to drugs,some to porn, and some to relationships. Whatever the addiction you just need that fix! It makes you feel better at least in the moment .... the long term repocussions are often not felt until later down the line.

What is an addictive relationship? How can you recognise the signs?

If you are reading this right now and you're looking over at your partner whom you've just recently allowed back into your life after numerous failed attempts at your relationship, and this is your 4th or 5th try, then it may be that your in an addictive relationship!

It can feel a little like this song by Kem:



And for various reasons you just keep going back!

The most common reasons for returning to the relationship no matter what state its in include feelings of love, being afraid that no one else will compare, great chemistry/sex, better the devil you know, maybe a partners saying everything you want to hear this time (they've changed, grown, they want the same things as you).

And I'm not talking about the kind of relationship where your together off and on for a year, I'm talking about the addicton where you do not see this person for years after a break up, but then as soon as you meet again, your wondering if this person is available to pick up where you left off, the first thing you want to ask them is not how are you, it's are you single? you start scanning their hand for a wedding ring lol, your addicted, so you instantly want them again!

You don't tell your friends about it straight away as you know that you shouldn't! You exchange details, again telling yourself it will be fine, nothing will happen, but I was addicted once so I know what happens.....Something always happens lol!

My relationship had ended with this person 5 years previously, it had been a very intense, fiery, relationship involving very strong feelings, it ended on less than favorable terms and we both moved on. Fast forward five years to a night I went clubbing, and he was there - my cryptonite man.

Who is Cry-Tonite man?

He is someone who get's you everytime....well for a period of time atleast! You want to be with him again, for one or other reason. He is like cryptonite in the sense that he makes you go weak for him. While you don't take no sh*t from any other man, you put up with all his sh*t!

Will it work a second, third time around? The chances seem very slim, there were reasons why you split up to begin with, often they will re-appear once the initial feelings of excitement die down.

So BDSS'ers have you ever been addicted to a particular relationship with someone? and after how many attempts and after how many years did you decide that it didn't work? Or maybe your in one of these relationships and it is working!

2 attempts over 5 years was enough for me to move on for good from this person....and it re-confirmed my belief of moving on and not looking or going back.

What do you think bdss'ers? Is it really fourth time lucky?