It's not offensive however its just a collection of randomly selected race related anecdotes, I mean I'm sure we have all had countless debates regarding the meaning of prejudice, stereotyping and preconceptions etc etc. This post is completely the opposite of a serious debate.
I'd be the first to admit that sometime I do judge people based on stereotypical idea's or prejudices although not so much in a negative way. I am generally happy to accept people as they come. I grew up in a very multicultural area, went to a mixed and multicultural school, however this sometimes does not stop stereotypical thoughts affecting my actions.
For example, when my mother's partner came round for the dinner for the first time many moons ago (for the purpose of this post I am pointing out that he is white), once dinner was prepared and dished up, I instantly offered him Dun Dun Dun......
ketchup -Heinz
to splog all over his food, you see in my head at that time when I was quite young (I'm ashamed to admit that I was not that young lol about 14 or so), but in my head he was white so he wouldn't possibly want any pepper or anything spicy to eat he'd want to tone the heat down with ketchup. He said no and I did think wow, he doesn't want any ketchup.....this incident taught me never to assume.
On the opposite of offering a white man ketchup, I did do the reverse, now my parents are from the Caribbean and just to clarify for the uninformed Africa and the Caribbean are in two different places, we eat different foods, I get asked by my Nigerian friends if I've ever eaten Nigerian foods, and someone might ask me about St Lucian or Bajan foods, the point I'm trying to illustrate is that yes we are black but we (without going into any geographical details) speak different languages and eat different foods. So one day a long time ago one of my partners Ghanaian friends came round for dinner and what did I instantaneously offer him when the dinner had been prepared and served......Dun Dun Dun....
Hot Pepper Sauce - Hot Sauce
he was Ghanaian so in my mind I assumed he would want pepper sauce. Again he declined and I was like oh awkward.
Don't worry, these days if you come to my house for dinner I will offer you a selection of condiments (no ketchup or pepper sauce will be forced upon you whether your black, white or any other race), as I've come to understand that people of different races enjoy all sorts of foods. I'm black but I enjoy Thai food, there are a lot of black men who if you are fortunate enough to get cooked for and they ain't cooking any Jellof, Jerk Chicken or Gari they are cooking Italian food.
However in my experience I am not the only one who has these little preconceptions, for example one of my ex work colleagues (thank goodness she became an ex work colleague fairly quickly she was one of those individuals who rubbed everyone up the wrong way with her ridiculous antics!). She was Russian and she kept on asking me about Jerk Chicken:
Have I ever tried jerk chicken, I told her yes I had (so yes I'd answered in the affirmative as far as I was concerned the subject should be dropped). However she kept on seeing me around the office and it was like a light bulb went off in her head, black woman she must eat Jerk Chicken, let me ask her again and again and again and she also used to comment that she herself loved Jerk Chicken.
She made it her mission to ask me the same question over and over again.
In the end I explained to her that I had told her already and that she should stop asking me this. (Now just to clarify I wasn't walking around giving off a Jerk Chicken eating persona, I don't think I ever ate it in the office around her, I could not even tell you the last time I ate jerk chicken, yes Jamaica and St Lucia are both in the Caribbean but we eat different things.
Another example when I was studying in university was an older woman I was in class with who again latched onto the idea of me being black and consuming Jerk Chicken, however this time she knew I was from Hackney and she was familiar with a food place called the Jerk Joint
Then to top it off she proceeded to tell me that she had a friend who has 5 dogs and 20 pigeons and that she had taught the animals to kiss their teeth whenever she visited (even now as I am typing this out I am rolling my eye's in bewilderment)! Why did I need to know this?
LMAO WTF?
Now I did just put it down to a misguided attempt to make conversation with me, maybe they thought it wasn't enough to converse over a British pastime such as watching Eastenders, oh no we had to talk about Jerk Chicken lol but as I say I have had my own food related moments.
There is nothing wrong with being curious about another persons culture and traditions but lets not bug them about it.
So bdsser's have you ever had any wacky incidences born out of lets assume innocent stereotypes or preconceptions. I am not just talking to the black people reading the blog, as I know that everyone has silly preconceptions and I'm sure some poor soul has felt the affects of this.
Comment, share and join the blog!
LMAO Sel this is too funny. In all honesty I think we all have a tendency to judge people based on outside appearances, I know I have done so myself. Not only that I think I actually contribute to the black people and chicken stereotype as my main staple for lunch is always some sort of chicken based meal (chicken salad, chicken & rice, chicken & noodles!) so now my colleagues pre-empt what I'm going to say when they ask what I’m eating "don't tell me chicken & rice!"
ReplyDeleteI think the problem comes when once we met someone rather take them as they are we try to pigeonhole them into our own pre-conception. Which I think may have been what happened with your ‘jerk chicken’ ladies.
As for the teaching the animals to kiss their teeth I'm lost for words... 1. why? 2. Can animals learn to kiss their teeth?
ReplyDelete"Then to top it off she proceeded to tell me that she had a friend who has 5 dogs and 20 pigeons and that she had taught the animals to kiss their teeth whenever she visited (even now as I am typing this out I am rolling my eye's in bewilderment)! Why did I need to know this?" - This is the funniest thing I've read/seen/heard/been exposed to in ages.
ReplyDeleteDo pidgeons have teeth? If they kissed them would we be able to here it?
There are to many reasons why that spectacle is something I would love to see for myself. It's just too brilliant.
I've got a few examples for this topic, I'd love to know your thoughts on what was going on in the minds on the individuals who supplied the gems.
I once worked with a theatre company and we would perform sketch shows and plays in various locations around the UK such as churches, schools, prisons, even the odd supermarket car park type area (some of you are already stereotyping me as you read this aren't you?). Anyway, the first place we ever performed as a team was in a place called Lund (I'd never heard of it before either). I should point out that I was the only black person in a group of 5 with four white english teammates. At no point did I ever feel out of place or the token, it just didn't matter. However after this show in Lund as we were at the door thanking people for coming, this one older local gentleman (read "ol' white dude") comes up to one of my friends who was standing right next to me, pointing to me asks "is 'e from a 'ot country?" I dont think he was trying to be offensive and I wasn't offended I just think I may have been his first exposure to a live negro. :o)
On the other end of the age scale, we were about to perform in a primary school in some place which I can't remember in the north of England. As we were walking through through the car park past the fenced in "cherubs" they started to notice new people, so all attention turned to us, then one little guy, in total seriousness and conviction came to me through the fence and said "I know your mum" :o/
I know this boy of about 7 years had never seen my mum in any shape or form and I can only assume that he once met a black woman in his short life and assumed that I must be her son.
Generally speaking I hate stereotyping and actively seek not to do it, for me it's like a form of racism. I try not to assume that someone is going to be a certain way because they happen to fit in to specific categories, however it is funny sometimes when people live up (or down) to common expectations (chicken anyone?)
Thanks for commenting Andy, that would be something hearing dogs and pigeons kiss their teeth, especially as I only recall hearing dogs barking, growling, panting etc never kissing teeth. And pigeons only make that bird sound lol never kissed teeth sounds. That would have to go in some sort of Ripley's believe it or not shows.
ReplyDeleteI think that some of the judgements/stereo types or even prejudices aren't coming from a bad place, certain patterns for different races and cultures sometimes contribute to the way you think about a certain race or culture, however i don't think ones ideas about their culture/race should make you think this is how they all are this is to generalise people as the same, when really they are not like not all Muslims are terrorists. Like not every young black youth wearing baggies clothes is a thief. He may well be and educated black man holding his own but the clothes are just a choice of fashion for him.
ReplyDeleteSi remember you telling me about a co worker who didn't think Egypt is in Africa, i mean COME ON, because she had preconceived ideas of what an African looks like. She may well gone on holiday their and not seen Black African's however it doesn't make a difference one is a fair skinned African or a really dark skinned African, they both call themselves African.
I remember seeing a homeless man begging for money, i didn't have many coins so i gave him a pound, he looked at me saying " don't have more" i shook my heads and says "well then you better go back to your country" OHHH HELL NO! To which i said you the sucker begging, i've got a home and i am in my country prick. I wanted to tell him to give back my pound but just though forget about and walked off.
Si you are right in that we judge people from what we see its only after getting to know that, your preconceived idea's get washed away. The moment you allow your preconceived ideas control you, you start venturing into being racist.
We can help make a change by teaching our children from a young age about these things. They will think differently.
Great post
Oh my goodness MFMU - What a cheeky twat, he took your money then racially abused you. You poor thing.
ReplyDeleteAndy's examples are definitely innocent in comparison. Kids say the funniest things. When I went to thailand a few years back, I travelled out of the city bangkok and a child asked if she could take my picture, which I thought was so weird (I was the tourist I should have been taking her picture lol) and also I suspected it was because of my race,and my cousin who was living there at the time who I stayed with, confirmed that this was probably the case. Which was fine.
Lol but it can all be very crazy! and you have to assess when to take offence and when to just be understanding.
I think like Andy, I try not to stereotype as I hate being on the receiving end. 'You Women' drives me absolutely nuts as I am me; not a whole gender so talk about me lol!
ReplyDeleteA personal example is that I'm always perceived to be younger than I am, polite and even ignorant when dealing with companies I'm receiving a service from. Carcraft (I feel no way name-dropping here) gave me a serious run around last year that went on for months, but what they didn't know was that I was clocking every single misdemeanour & watching the calendar, all the while offering 'please' and 'thank yous'; they must've been laughing. At least until the 3 month mark hit then all hell broke loose in the form of a 4 page letter ending with promises of involving BBC watchdog, Trading Standards and Consumer Direct (in bold type)!
Needless to say, everything got rectified quicktime LOL. And I get such a buzz of their reaction when they meet me in person, as if 'this is the little madam that caused such a ruckus??' Hehe
Hahaha I can relate to the Egypt misconception! I remember at school I must have had a big time row with a girl because she really couldn't grasp Egypt was in Africa! Andy the chicken one is classic, at a previous job my boss had rthe cheek to say why do black people mainly only eat chicken. I was so vex, and told him their are many veggies and vegans in my family!
ReplyDeleteI heard from someone the other day that they were asked by a African relative whether his Jamaican girlfriend cooks for him because apparently Jamaican women don't cook! I don't know where they got from, but my children should be starving right now - they are not because I'm Jamaican or Jammo and cook!