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Saturday, 16 April 2011

Tips On Life

Last week I was driving back from an appointment, I hate motorways, A roads, Dual Carriage Ways, or any other situations that require me to go fast in my car, so I decided to take the scenic route, even though I didn’t know my way home that way.

At first my journey was carefree and pleasurable, the sun was shining, I was listening to my Aaliyah, and my baby was fast asleep in the back - Bliss. After half an hour I noticed that I had gone around in one big circle, and I actually didn’t know where the hell I was, or my way back home. I was in fact lost! I whipped out my mobile for my Sat Nav app, and the thing had crashed. Not knowing where I was going, was turning from being a blissfully carefree situation, into a nightmare. By now the baby was screaming down the car, I had remembered that I had a repair man coming for 1pm and had only had an hour to get home. I managed to pull over, whip out my A-Z and work out my way back at home, just making it back in time to catch the repair man, who was waiting outside. On my journey I remember thinking that this journey would make a great anecdote on life for my next post.

Often like many others I suppose I have often lived my life without much thought, just going with the flow and taking what life has thrown at me. I have also made choices spontaneously, enjoying the blissful carefree feeling of the unknown, but then regretting my actions when I have hit an obstacle or pot hole.

One of the things that I have learnt in my 27 years is the importance of planning, and also really getting to grips with who you are. It can actually be really hard taking time out for yourself, especially with the demands of work, education, family, and friends. So I have recently set aside at least half an hour each day for myself to meditate. It’s enabled me to really think about decisions that I need to make, and helps bring clarity to any problems I may have. When you are emotionally in touch with yourself, it makes knowing your direction in life easier. It also helps you to find ‘Mr or Mrs Right’ because you actually know what you require from a partner, and whether they match you and your desires.

There have been times in my life that I have actually ran away from myself, it sounds strange doesn’t it? But it’s true, sometimes we can be scared of what we may uproot when we focus on ourselves, so we bury our own needs deep within, covering our feelings with the soil of our partners needs, our families needs, and our friends needs. Believe me, when you grab your spade of strength and start to shovel away that emotional soil to get back to you, you will feel happier. Others cannot make you happy and content if you don’t feel that way within. If you are feeling low, get out your pen and paper and start planning your life it’s exciting to do! Think of all the possibilities that YOU can create, think about what you plan on doing in the next year or 5 years. This will be you own personal A-Z, something solid that you can look at when you are in a traffic jam or have lost your way. Make time for yourself! It doesn’t have to be meditating, do things that you enjoy - make yourself happy. Think of the past, and the choices you have made that have made you happy or sad this will help you in the future.

It is very easy to go around in a big circle if you don’t plan and reflect, and I really encourage this.
You can be blissfully carefree, with the knowledge that you have direction it makes life’s journey so much easier.

So my BDSS crew, have you got any tips on life that you can share with us for our journey‘s?


  1. Great Post Bi!

    I definitely know what it is to go around in circles or run from myself.

    In fact I would say it’s only recently (at almost 30) that I have felt comfortable in my skin and also with where my life is going.

    Previous to that I have been plagued with fears, insecurities, lack of confidence and a number of other 'problems' most definitely created in my own head.

    Which definitely took a lot of the joy out of my accomplishments and also stopped me from planning, for fear of failure!

    My own tip is similar to yours regarding digging deep. I would say being honest with yourself is key to being happy. When I say honest I mean literally having the following dialogue with yourself: When such and such does A why do I react as B?

    Being honest with yourself first will allow you to be honest with others, therefore certain things like saying sorry I was wrong in an argument won’t feel so bad.

    Another type is don’t beat yourself up so much, and know that everyone makes ‘mistakes’ even repeatedly. The key is going back to being honest, WHY?

    Hopefully by being honest about it you can stop repeating it.

  2. This is a fantastic post Bi and same here, I also have had navigational breakdowns many times throughout my life!

    I agree, it is very important to stay true to yourself and your aspirations as it will in turn allow us to be true with others around us. Also, it can become restrictive when surrounded by people who refuse to do the same; as best as you try to keep yourself on the right path, obstacles in the form of loved ones keeping their heads in sand can also threaten to interrupt our own journeys and the direction we've mapped out.

    Having said that, I think I've always been the one to over-plan lol (my friend says I have a to-do list for everything!!), and certain experiences have proven that this can have a detrimental effect on allowing the things and people that are not right for you to simply fall away. Or more importantly, for God's plan to take effect. I'm normally guilty of trying to make decisions or set the washing on spin in my head to determine what's the right thing to do, until a still quiet voice asks me 'what do you want?' I now see that until I've properly figured that out (which may take some time) I can't know what needs doing. Tell that to my pre-planner self!

    So, maybe I need a list of destinations before I start planning out the routes!! lol

  3. Personally i have found reading my bible and praying something that calms me and brings me back to what really is important. My faith is a part me of we can not be separated and though i know i do many things wrong i find it brings me to centre. I would say if you are a Christian carry a small book of short readings, worship music.

    Music is important to me all kinds it allows. me to switch off, calm down and just enjoy whatever journey i am on, reading books and lastly i like to phone Si and rant about whatever and she is always there to listen to me and she herself is very entertaining. So having good friends. Which you are all so very important to me, i would say we are life long friends which is very rare.