What One Dance Can Do...(Great Expectations!)

Now I don't know about you but I will happily admit that growing up I loved the film Grease starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.

I loved the film so much in fact that a boyfriend bought me the video as a present and I was so cuffed and I took it as a sign he really knew me! Lol

There was just something hypnotic about John Travoltas' hips and even now when I occasionally catch the film on ITV, I swoon! :-D

John Travolta and his dancing was seriously hot back in the day (no scientology for me… not even Will Smith could get me to believe in Aliens, NASA maybe but L Ron Hubbard, nope!).

So anyways back to the topic…

I think a lot of ladies (I'm not sure if it's the same for men) will probably agree that there is nothing more appealing than a man that can add 1 foot plus the 2nd foot and equal 100! (On the dance floor)…

I mean there is nothing more appealing than a man that can dance …and dance well! (Two step or Migrane Skank does not count!)

You only have to watch Strictly Come Dancing with all its relationship rumours and whispers of affairs amongst the professional dancers and their partners to know what one dance can do…

I mean John Travolta in Grease was not doing anything new; he was doing what many entertainers, performers, show men (Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Michael Jackson, Genuwine, Usher, Justin Timberlake/Beider) had done before him…

…They were planting a seed… an idea… a theory even …

…that Great dancing = Great **X!

I mean there are dances and then there are DANCES! And I think every woman remembers a great dance/dancer whether it was just the one dance or you took it further and tried to prove the theory…

There is no denying what one dance can do!!

So my BDSS'rs what is your theory about what one dance can do, and also have you tested the theory? What were the results?!

Ugly women vs Pretty women

I was reading an article the other day, that was asking the question, of whether pretty women have less desirable personality traits, compared to less attractive women (disclaimer: obviously attractiveness is subjective).

It discussed the idea that pretty women did not have to make as much of an effort to be or to come across as personable, while less pretty women have to go all out (including in the bedroom!) In order to compete or perhaps to compensate for a lack of gorgeous looks.

Along with the article I also watched the recently released, Queen latifah film called "do wright" which centred around two women and one man.

One pretty with a less than great personality and one less attractive (according to the film!) Queen latifah being the less attractive of the two physically but in personality she was wonderful.

Still she didn't immediately get together with the love interest in the film (Common...love him!), although she won him round in the end. After he was dumped by the prettier woman.

Also in addition to the above film and article, I have had conversations where people have sworn off pretty women/good looking men due to negative experiences with them.

Myself personally I've never correlated a persons personality with their looks....so I can't say that I have noticed any connection.

But as its addressed in the film, in my conversations with others and in other articles, I'm thinking that their might be some truth in it.

So in your experience bdss'ers have you ever felt this? Do you see this happening? Are prettier women much more stuck up and stooch compared to less attractive women?

Is the same true for men?

And is it solely down to looks?

Breaking Up Is A B*#ch!!!!

I was watching the Cheryl Cole interview with Piers Morgan on saturday and the part where she talked of her divorce from Ashley Cole got me thinking that: Breaking up no matter what the reason for the break up - is tough. She seemed really fragile still when talking about it despite her continued success.

Have you ever been through a break up! Do I even need to ask? I'm sure everyone would have been through at least one.

Whether its that first love relationship break up from your teens or one where your much older, wiser and mature. Break ups are often painful, make you feel like crap (even when you know breaking up is the right thing to do!) and the killer, you always go through a phase of questioning yourself and your sanity! Whether you will ever be happy again (of course you will!) It absolutely sucks! It can take you to a dark, morose place.

I hate break ups! Although not more than being in a bad relationship (I would never recommend that), they are a necessary evil, you go through the process in order to move onto the "next chapter" whatever and with whom ever that maybe.

break ups can make you feel awful.

One day you feel like your coping, and then the next you keep on recounting nice times and places, his face errggghhh...its so annoying! Lol! Its like self-inflicted torture.

Is it better to adopt a Cee-Lo Green attitude a "f u" attitude to see yourself through the rough patch.

Or maybe its better to adopt a "It didn't work out but I wish you all the best" attitude.

The point of the post is to ask, have you bdss'ers been through a break up? How did you feel? And how did you get over it?

Single?

MadeForMakeUp talks singledom...

Is there such a thing as “single for too long”?

As I read my girls post about causal relationships:The BDSS: The Art Of Keeping It Casual! and posted my comments I got to thinking about being single for too long. Then I wondered, is there such a thing? Is there a time limit on singledom? Does anyone get the single itch or have you ever done so, and what was the outcome? Is there relationship etiquette?

From these questions you maybe be able to tell that I have been happily single for a while.

Now although I'm happy there are some pitfalls that being single for too long has brought me:

I find that I am way way over the hill too picky -of course there’s the I don’t like smokers and they have to come from a good family type idea of an ideal mate. I also find swearing like a sailor, bad dress sense, bad manners, long nails and bad shoes a turn off!

My pet hate is the “Have you seen me before, because I have seen you looking at me ”… no I have not seen you! Lol

Especially coming from someone you wouldn’t ever think twice at looking at.

I find I have this attitude and look “of please don’t approach me”, I don’t know if that is because I am scared of what will happen next; I also I find I’m excited about someone for a very short time and then it goes away.

For me now men are like sweets, you see them, you enjoy the flavour and once that’s gone I’m happy.

I feel like getting to know someone is a chore, all the thoughts that go on in my head before you even get to the date and do I even want to let someone into my life? the answer is yes but where do I begin?

Now the upside of being single for too long, (this part I love because I have a great attitude about it, so I think!):

I have becomes friends with being single, it bothers me not much until I read this post: then questions fell out of me like a rain fall.

I mean I enjoy my own company; I don’t feel like I have impress anyone but myself. I feel like I don’t have to answer to anyone, nor have any expectations of a man or his expectations of me, I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, I appreciate my own company, I do what I like, when and how I like. I don’t argue with anyone, I don’t get jealous, I don’t get disappointed!

Right now I can’t be bothered to try and that is my single selfish prerogative and I’m happy that my sense of self is not compromised. There is a lot of “I” in this section and I guess that is the upside of being single, it’s the “I” and not the “WE” in this me relationship.

I’ve learned to know what I really want out of a relationship and learned I don’t have to settle at all.

I used to have race issues but being single has taught me to let down that stereotype and appreciate men of all races. Being alone does not and doesn’t mean being lonely. For me it’s being secure, happy, confident, bold and selfish with myself.

In the end when it comes time to choosing my b.f, I feel I am not clouded by past relationship nor am I defined by them, I know I can carry on being single if needs be until the right man comes along or me being the right woman for the right man.

So ladies and gents what do you think? Is there such a thing as being single for too long?

Signed happily single MadeForMakeUp

Don't Ever Think You Can't Get Better...

Who hasn't held on to a relationship that had run it's course even before you found out those marks on his neck were not the result of a friendly game of 'head locks' gone to far! No they were the result of a liaison with another women...

Ah but still I stayed and held on to the idea of the man I thought he was suppose to be!

But things were irrevocably broken beyond repair; them good old feelings were replaced with something else ...hurt, pain, despair, resentment, a waste of two years of my life and most of all an overwhelming sense of disappointment like I never saw it coming...

But anyways I persevered until one day someone said to me...

'Don't ever think you can't get better'

It was some much needed and timely advice from a male friend who saw me selling myself short!

So in honor of good timely advice I want to hear from you bdss'rs...

Has anyone ever hit the nail on the head just when you needed it the most?

What was the situation and what did they say?

I mean we all need counsel at times...

In fact just this weekend whilst talking with my mum she casually through out ... 'You got to pick sense out of nonsense'

I was like whoa - she is right! and proceeded to update my twitter and face book with that little nugget of wisdom!

So please do tell... what have been your nuggets...

The Art Of Keeping It Casual!

This title is very misleading, as you would think it would contain some tips based on my own experiences of keeping it casual!

And by keeping it casual I mean, your in a place where you don't want to be in a relationship, but at the same time, you want to get a bit of loving! Do you know what I mean?

Myself personally in the past when I've attempted this. I tended to fail miserably and get a little attached. Either that or the other person gets attached! It just does not work for me.

So its lead me to believe that women and probably not so much men are just very bad at keeping it casual. Women get attached. Then before you know it they are emailing their friends at work talking about "I'm starting to like robert because even though it was supposed to be casual, he is actually a really great guy, we have so much in common" (Even when he is not- he has a bag of other women all over the place! Lol!).

I'd also say that I see that the same is true for the women around me, if they don't start to get attached, then the other party does. Then I get the email at work saying "I had to end it with Robert as he wanted to be more serious, but I don't really like him in that way because of (insert reasons why robert is not so great here) lol!

It seems to me that it just doesn't work and sometimes its not just the females becoming attached.

What do you'll think bdss'ers? Can you do casual?

If you can how do you succeed where so many others fail and become emotionally involved?

Include some hints and tips so the title of this blog is not so misleading lol!

Also what do you think of the idea of casual relationships overall?

Made For Make Up.com Fridays...

Its finally Friday which means it time to play and what better way to start your weekend shenanigans than with a new look!

Check out Made For Make Up´s tutorial and take a minute to feel sexy!

Here´s just the song to get you in the mood for the weekend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U0gcUxle-4

Songs That Take You To A Dark Place

I was having a conversation with someone the other day about a popular singer and this person was adamant that the singer worships the devil, and that there are signs in video’s and alter egos etc… so they are very careful about what they consume.


To be honest my initial thought was that they have been watching too much YouTube or reading to much conspiracy websites… but now I think about it they probably had a good point!

You see whilst driving home from a family visit I took a trip down musical memory lane; I dusted off my Ms Dynamite A Little Deeper album and cranked up the volume for some car karaoke.


Now I don't know about you but I loved most of Ms Dynamite’s first album because she gave me circumstances I could truly relate to…


Had a broken heart? √ (Check)


Yearned from deep with in? √ (Check)


Thought you'd never see the light again?  √√ (Double Check)


With songs like Any Way You Want It, Seed Will Grow and All I Every Want, the album spoke to my soul, but there is one song I loved the most however is Now You Want My Love ...So there was me happy as can be singing along to Ms Dynamite…


[Verse One]

'Remember when I was so weak 4 u,
Remember when I felt so deep 4 u,
I remember the day I cried 4 u,
Remember the days I though I'd die for you.
But you said you had no time for me,
Said that you and I would never be,
Said you wouldn't mind gettin' up
between my legs, But not good
enough to be your girl that's what you said.

[Pre Chorus x2]

Ooh how you broke my heart that day,
All the love I had for you,
But only disrespect did you show me.

[Chorus:]

Now you want my love,
So what ya tryin' 2 tell me?
Now I'm good enough?
And now you want my time,
If you think you're gunna get it must be out ya fu*kin mind…
(You get the gist!)…


I tell you I was in the my element therefore it was only after I finished singing the song that I realised... Huh? I'm in a dark mood?! Lol


I mean my other half was in the car and all of a sudden I found whatever he was doing quite irritating: 
he was texting and I found that annoying! ...he was talking on his phone and I found that equally irritating! ...he was minding his own business and that was THRICE as grating!


You see back in the days I loved that song for a reason… and surprisingly I found myself briefly in that F-U mind space! Ha-ha (obviously once I realised I was in that mind space for no apparent reason I quickly went back to my usual sweet self)!


* see here for verification that I am a saint: The BDSS: A good deed TURNED...


So anyways it got me thinking that music can do that to you... one minute your cool, the next minute you’re pissed! Certain songs take you certain places (in this case the dark side)!


So anyways all you BDSS followers let's have some fun today... I want to hear about the songs that take you to your dark place...

Warning! ... He May Have Three Wives...

Continuing with the cheating theme lets go one further and talk bigamy!

The lady in the article below married three men and for five years managed to keep it secret from all her husbands!

Read more here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1319047/Woman-married-husbands-said-cancer.html#ixzz12BUZrsC2

Now my first thought when reading the article was what kind of mind would even think to do such a thing? I also wondered if these men had some sort of screw loose that would explain five years of not knowing!


I mean there must have been some clues, but for some reason it took a missing persons report and the discovery of marriage certificates to uncover the truth!


So to save anyone else the bother of going through such a palaver, I using some quotes from the article in order to highlight the red flags her husbands clearly missed; in the hope of saving one of you, our BDSS readers from discovering your significant other has two extra wives or another husband down the road!


Here goes…


1) `To explain her long absences she said she was working nights as a nurse or was having treatment in hospital for cancer, and forbade them from visiting her’


If after 5 years you can’t surprise visit him/her at home, at work or you can only see them at specific times and places with no variation or spontaneity what so ever! Well clearly they have another life with another partner that comes first; and especially if they come up with really ridiculous excuses such as, ´my parrot gets nervous around strangers´ … Red Flag No. 1!


2) ´They married in November 2004 at the Gretna Green Register Office, dragging two strangers off the street to act as witnesses.´


If after 5 years you have not met the significant people in their life …well my mother always said that if a man/women really likes you they will not hesitate to introduce you too their family; and the same goes for their friends too! So if after five years you have not met their mother (and she is not dead!)… Red Flag No. 2!


3) ´I never saw her at Christmas.´


If five years into your relationship you have never spent a Christmas or bank holiday weekend together …ever! Or you’re excluded from their birthday celebrations (like their 50th!) Well its likely they are spending their special day with someone else who they feel are equally as special and if its not you it is … Red Flag No. 3!


4) ´Husband number three, joiner Martin Wright, 54, took out a mortgage to buy a £52,000 home for them. They went on trips together, but astonishingly she spent only two nights over four years at their house’.


I mean it speaks for itself!


… So BDSS you have been warned! But can you think of any other red flags that your significant other may have two wives or husbands...

I Met Her At The Car Park In Tesco´s...

Let's be honest we all never met our partners at church, through family/friends, in the workplace or any other acceptable place!

In this day and age its more likely you met your partner in a bar, club, pub, online... maybe you got chirpsed on road or he/she chatted you up on a bus: The BDSS: I Want To Be Your Babyfather...

For blogging purposes I'm going to tell you how I met my current partner...

It was 2004 and of course I was out with the BDSS's for a night of madness and mayhem!

I'll admit I was drunk and I attempted to do the electric slide with a glass of wine in one hand; and said hand got knocked and wine actually ended up in my face - :-D but somehow my winning personality shone through and despite what they say about meting people in the club (only good for a short sexual encounter) we are still going strong, and in my defense I rarely go out and get rat faced because I like to drive home and see my own bed after a night out!

But having said that I know it won't make for a very good how I met your father story for any possible future children and I actually know there are people out there who care about such things, and you only have to watch TV to know that a romantic meeting story is desirable!

Therefore BDSS I want to hear how you met your significant other, whether you stole them from someone else! Or he chirpsed you whilst walking down the street I want to hear it! Because I think in the pursuit of love it seems anything goes these days!

Also where are the acceptable meeting places?

When It Hurts So Bad...

Firstly I have been directed by BDSS:Debs to highlight the BDSS’s disdain for the X Factor.

Now although I missed last nights results show Debs has informed me that it was a choice between F.Y.D & Katie Waissel (or as I like to call her Weasel! lol)

Debs assured me that if it was based on performance alone then F.Y.D had it hands down, but as we all know the show is fixed and so the Weasel lives on to sing another day! and if your still in denial that its a fix, check this out:http://www.anorak.co.uk/256750/tv/how-the-x-factor-and-sony-bmg-fixed-it-for-katie-waissel-aka-katie-vogel.html

So anyways back to today’s topic; when it hurts so bad, as Tina Turner famously sang who needs a heart when a heart can be broken - and badly at that!

I don’t know about you but I definitely remember the first time I got my heart broken, the first time I realized that sometimes men are crap! lol


It came as a complete shock, a bolt of the blue to find out the person I loved, the one I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with was sleeping with or had slept with someone else and at the time I faced what I thought was a big dilemma...


Should I continue on with the relationship because I love him or should I end the relationship because well ... I hate him! (I think there’s a very thin line between love and hate).


I mean I really struggled with accepting that maybe he was not marriage material (the signs where there all along, but I choose to ignore them!) and gradually I grew to resent, despise and hate this person because well ... I do hold grudges! lol


But I realise that that is just me, and that there are people out there who even after infidelity are willing to ride that surfboard until wipe out!


So with that being said BDSS I want to know how? How when you feel you have been hurt so bad do you move forward? Or are you like me do you hold grudges!?


All hints, tips & tricks will be greatly appreciated…

Apprentice appreciation- we love you LORD SUGAR

I don't know about you but I LOVE The apprentice.

Its back for another twelve weeks with the same mixture of crazy and ultimately pointless tasks where candidates battle it out to prove that they are the ultimate candidate and be hired for the £100,000 salary.

Sir Alan has been promoted he is now a Lord. Lord sugar doesn't that sound grand! “Lord Flav"....nah my last name doesn't have the same ring to it, except funnily enough in my own head lol!

But I love Lord Sugar, with his mixture of cockney accent (He is a fellow hackney-ite like me) and business acumen. His classic one-liners. He made a funny quip about being offered money from someone in nigeria once! In the first episode! He had all the blackberry messenger updates going after that! The man is a man of the world, he is global!

But I also love watching the candidates, a classic cringe-induding line from one of them, in one of the very first sequences of the program was "everything I touch turns to sold" wow blown away I was not but I can see what he was trying to do!...

You've got to love the candidates with all their "I'm the best" rhetoric

I may have been made redundant but "I'm the best blah blah blah"

I may be an unemployed graduate but "I'm the best blah blah blah"

With such a heady mix of ego's competitiveness, LORD SUGAR and tasks that make you think sausages....hmm!!! Apprentice is my idea of a hilarious tv viewing.

If you haven't seen the first episode bbc iplayer it.

All I will say is DAN ragging bull, way too much testosterone!

Between, watching The Apprentice, X-factor and Trueblood how will I ever prise myself away from my TV? *Sigh*

Do you fellow bdss'ers enjoy the apprentice as much as I do? Its far better than strictly come dancing!

I Am A Women - Address Me As Such!

Why do some men insist on addressing you as if you're one of their boys.

Its one of my real bugbears (a long with being called princess).

I'm serious I hate this, I'm not your bredrin, your b, your bruv, your homie, your dog.

Whatever happened to addressing your female friend like your female friend and not your boy.

I understand we are close, but as much as I will sit down with you and watch a football game and become interested, or listen to you go on about the challenges of your day at work, I might listen to some hip-hop or whatever music you like (I've only now deleted the drake from my phone- my point is I'm not a huge hip-hop fan but you make concessions for each other!), or watch a film you like (I found inception tiring! Although you loved it).

We can sit down and talk about anything, politics, religion (although this discussion gets heated), music, x factor etc.

We are friends I know (and I guess all those words are said in an affectionate sounding way- well as much as is possible), they are terms used to greet someone nicely within our community.

But I don't have a penis or beard, or a baritone voice, I never grew up with you, so we never chatted up girls together, or had our first spliff together, or sat around in the barbers with you on a saturday getting your hair cut planning some "moves" together. I'm just not that bredrin you like to holla at me as! You've still got your boys!

My tomboy days have long since gone, in those days it would have been great to be thought of as one of the boys as it meant you were cool with the boys you used to fancy.

Also gone is my love for lyrics such as "your like my homie" butta love next! Or "me and my bitch". Me and my bitch Jaheem!

Maybe I'm alone on this one, maybe I'm being uptight, highly strung whatever...you can think that!

Just don't call me bredrin, bruv or b!

Address women as women!

Over to you bdss'ers!!

What's your bugbear? Get it off your chest!

X Factor Shambles... (I Know I´m Late With This One!)

Now whilst I don´t think Cheryl is a racist, I do think that possibly the malaria has made her loss her right mind! (along with her self respect, her dignity, some loyal fans and I might be inclined to add her frigging soul)!

I mean between Gamu and that Katie there was clearly no competition and that´s why every fiber of my being told me and everyone else (except Cheryl) that Gamu was going through to the live shows... I would go as far as saying it was a collective being, a national being (which obviously excluded Cheryl!).

How else could you explain the hardcore focus on Gamu  from the first show?  I mean as well as the great singing we also got the whole back story: ¨I came from Zimbabwe, I´m a student and my mum worked so hard I want to give back¨, along with all the tears,  and the insistent soppy background music (every one knows by now that when Westlife plays the contestant has got through to the next round, fact! lol) to the point were anyone who has ever watched the show over the past how many years KNEW that Gamu was going through;

Gamu was a dead cert, an audience favorite and tipped to win it according to ALL sources! :-D

So a long with the collective being I was definitely bewildered, shocked, horrified, disgusted, disappointed & confused.com upon learning that Gamu was not going through to the live shows;  and even more shocked that Katie was chosen instead?!

Its was such an unexpected decision that I would even compare the shock to when I found out Princess Diana died or when I was up late one night and found out that Michael Jackson  died!… you know one of them real bewildering huh? moments! ... like you remember exactly what you were doing the day Gamu got booted off the X Factor... ´I was swimming with dolphins in the Indian Ocean when I heard the news about Gamu!´ :-(

But I guess that´s show business for you... nothing makes sense when ratings & revenue are involved! and although we have always suspected the show is somehow fixed (I mean its the show that brought us Jedward after all),  I really like X Factor and I really liked Cheryl up until Saturday,  but now I´m questioning her capacity to sit in the judging seat... I mean she choose a Madonna wannabe over real singing talent and she has got a big thumbs down for her trouble (talking about Í´m back to health´ she should have just stayed at home in bed if you ask me! kmt)

I mean I can understand why she put Cher through; she said she was right up her 'Street' which is fair enough; and the other lady can definitely sing! But Katie? that question mark will loom over the next few weeks... that is unless she preforms miracles on the show (I would suggest farting gold dust or singing a song through without forgetting the words as a start!). I think the only thing Cheryl got right is that Katie is like marmite, you either love her or hate her!

My personal theory is not that Cheryl is a racist or that she is paying Africa back for the Malaria! (the people that come up with these conspiracy theories are obviously on some other level! lol) but that this year she has obviously succumbed to the powers that be and someone has made the decision for her, in order to garner as much hype, publicity, controversy, anger, hate etc that can be stimulated from a show that has a formula which is running out of steam!

Either that or the malaria has had some surprising lasting effects...

So anyways my BDSS´ers where were you when you heard the Gamu news? and what are your thoughts on Cheryl and her choice of Katie?