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Friday, 7 January 2011

Something new

Have you ever seen the film "Something new", with Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker? The film where a black woman gets set up on a blind date by a friend and she is surprised to find its with a white man, who she then goes on to fall for although she had never dated outside her race before. Come to think of it ,it's not exactly a topic that's something new. and I'm sure dating outside your race is not as awkward and complicated as the film makes out. Or maybe bdsser's the first date actually is if you've never dated outside your race before! Your stories and tales of this are very welcome. Get commenting!

But back to a friend of mine who since becoming single recently, they're considering trying something new.

They have only ever dated black men. Myself to, although I can recall having feelings for someone in school when I was in my early teens, I asked him out (lol ha ha I'm not going to pretend he said yes and lie to make myself look better in this post!) He said no, something about him having a girlfriend. I felt quite upset at the time and maybe that set me on the road to only dating black men, I'm joking of course, I really don't know, but since that ill fated attempt to date outside my race (not that race entered my mind at the time) I've never tried it again.

My friend has only recently started to think that maybe she is really limiting her dating opportunities.

And talking it over with a few other friends, a lot of them tend to agree that while everybody has their preferences when it comes to who they date, there is nothing wrong with dating outside that preference to a degree.

There is the saying that variety is the spice of life!

I know many couples in relationships of all sorts of combinations of race, happy, miserable, volatile, stress-free relationships. Typical, normal relationships.

So she is consciously open to the idea of dating outside her race for once and she says it feels slightly liberating.

Bdss'er's the floor is your's what do you think about dating outside of your race?

If you've never done so or if you exclusively do so, is that due to a conscious decision?

Your thoughts, feelings and opinions are all very much welcome.


  1. Great blog, humourous! An old debate but still relevant in barber shops (& presumabley hairdressers) No issues with inter-racial relationships..the key is to know WHY? As a young black man I dont subscribe to the 'trophy white woman' theory niether the 'stay loyal to sisters' notion...its about appreciating what's unique about a woman that makes them attractive!!

  2. When it comes to inter racial relationships I don’t find them a problems, I’m not offended by inter racial relationships. I love does not have colour well it shouldn’t, its about how a person treats you and your family that really counts, I guess for me I have seen good inter racial relationships and bad ones. Its the cultural difference where I have seen this cause great problems in relationships to the point of breaking them down and ending in divorce because one doesn’t understand about ones back culture and refuses to acknowledge that is part who that person it. However such things can be over come when you communicate your culture and not let that be a hindrance. It is very possible to love and be in love with anyone outside of your race. Love who you love with all that you have

  3. Along the lines of long as your treating each other right in the relationship, it does not matter what colours you both are.

    I love what your saying Moniyang about the different notions applied in interracial relationships and that you don´t subscribe to them! I think where it becomes an issue is for those people who subscribe to certain notions and then get upset by it.

    I have seen the film, I think what I remember most was the families reaction to it when he went to a barbecue or something?

    Anyway I´m sure for your friend it won´t be as complex as portrayed in the film and really its not that big of a deal.

  4. As for tip the only one I can think is that there are loads of websites offering interracial dating so your friend might want to start there!

  5. Living in Nottingham and going to predominantly white schools all my first boyfriends were white, it was only has I got older that I started seeing boys from my own race. Then I came to London and in the educational institutions and clubs I went to, I was surrounded by brothers so just dated the people I met there.

    I have dated an Asian guy and being younger I was a little ignorant and felt that we were always being stared at! LOL! But to be honest I wasn't that keen on him so it didn't last long.

    I wouldn't rule out dating out of my own race at all, true love is hard to find and has long has I am happy and the man treats me and my family right I would just be happy I have him in my life black, white or whatever.

  6. Could not agree more Bi!