I've had a couple conversations recently with some very smart men, smart in a sense of they are mature, intelligent, ambitious men who are trying to build some warren buffet-esque empires.
A few weeks back one of these single men briefly mentioned to me that they really liked someone but that the woman didn't feel "good enough" to be with him.
Then I was having a conversation more recently with someone who was feeling slightly tired of dating and meeting women as he had been told on a recent occasion by the woman he was dating that she didn't feel good enough to be with him.
Hmmm...
Now after encouraging my friend (you know chin up, stay positive - all the good uplifting talk lol), I did wonder if this is some sort of line that gets banded around when a woman maybe isn't interested in being in a relationship with a guy kind of like that whole“ its not you, its me" type thing.
But its not one of those lines I've used myself when I'm not interested in forming a relationship.
Then on the same day one of my fb friends asked could you be with a guy who was not as smart as you on his FB status, and the majority of the women who were quick to respond very passionately responded saying "NO" in fact the majority of them saying "hell no!"
So I'm wondering who are these women turning down these lovely guys due to not feeling good enough about themselves?
And how good about yourself do you have to feel to want to be with a very smart man?
I'm slightly flummoxed by this as I love men who are intelligent, mature and ambitious.
The more intelligent, mature (in actions not in looks I'm not interested in anyone over 60 just yet I jest! Lol!) And ambitious the better.
I mean what are you going to do with an immature, unintelligent, going nowhere partner
i am not out off by a smart man even if he is smart than i am, i think that is sexy, why the heck would i want a baffoon. There is just no way i would turn down a guy because he is smart, it for me about your confidence in yourself and it is not a competition. I'd like to think his strength would lift me up, hold us down when i can't so its great. Sometimes people can think about such thing and make them become a problem when it really isn't. They are more things to worry about than having a dude who is smarter than you, not unless his a snob with it now that would piss me off, okay your smart don't but please don't put it in my face and act like you are better than me because you will find yourself on your own. Its like saying you wouldn't date a guy who is too good looking or far to rich, its all in how that person shows how the are with the gifts they have. if a guy is really rich and snob and being stupid with money then you are on your own if his pompous and walks around like yes i am so good looking and really up himself about his looks what you need me for. Any who bring on the smartness not the smart ass
ReplyDeleteI agree smartness not smart ass @ madeformake up.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure who those women are Sel! Have your friends considered dumbing down for love?
I think a man with ambition, intelligents and drive is a catch personally.
Although as madeformakeup said if he is too pompous with it then it might be a turn off, are you friends pompous with it?
I think if a woman is using 'your too smart' or 'too good for me' as an excuse she's clearly not ready yet!
Some girls claim they want a good guy, but when they meet one, he's "just a friend" Then they fall for the player/badboy and get their heart broken. Then they have the nerve to say "all guys are the same"
ReplyDelete@anonymous it is so true!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about the comment “I don't feel good enough” because it’s never even occurred to me to put a man on that sort of peddle stool let alone tell him! So I'm hoping the lady was just dropping the female equivalent of "it's me not you" but in saying that we all have anxieties especially when it comes to dating someone we really like. Just recently my friend was anxious about bringing a date over because he may not like where she lives. The other was paranoid that guy she was dating may change his mind because she had a son. I told both of these beautiful ladies all the wonderful things they have going for them and meant every word any man who is worth his weight on gold will realise how lucky he is. I think when we do meet wonderful men we sometimes forget what we are bringing to the table, and how fortunate men that date us are. Reminding ourselves of this is important, and a great way of attracting great ambitious men and routing out the trash who often don't like confidant, assertive women.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that "I'm not good enough" could be interpreted in two ways; a) he's too good for me (which I agree with Bi, I don't recall ever thinking that) or b) confidence levels for what ever reason are not where they should be, hence such a statement, if not entirely accurate, could be reflective of the truth with some women.
ReplyDeleteI have been that woman who knows that although I would love, cherish and respect a good man, the lack of confidence within (which could be due to a multitude of triggers) effects the way I view and carry myself at that moment in time and this is bound to effect the judgements we make or the way we perceive matters. So maybe "I'm not good enough - yet" or "I'm not ready" would probably be more appropriate as it is self explanatory whilst remaining honest.
But I'm taliking on the assumption that this refers only to a minority woman, as I would think that more often than most, "I'm not good enough" is the female alternative to "it's not you, it"s me".
More honesty from both women & men would go a long way!!