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Thursday, 28 July 2011

Paternity Fraud – You are/are not the father!

The other day Bi pointed out that Trisha, yes our Trish; the UK’s equivalent of Sally Jesse Raphael (or Ricki Lake… not quite Oprah) was presenting Maury Povich.

Now having watched Maury Povich over the years, I think most people would agree he is famous for the following: “you are/are not the father”.

It got me thinking as great as it is for our Trish to be presenting Maury, imagine if it was Jeremy Kyle! ha ha *Just let that thought linger* 

Jeremy Kyle the UK’s equivalent of Jerry Springer –but plain rude with it. He tells it like it IS! So as well as the guests abusing each other, Jeremy calls them “scum”, “useless” and generally “degenerates not contributing to society!”

So…imagine Jeremy Kyle (Mr Insults) on a show which is synonymous with women not knowing who their baby daddy (or daddies) is/are… (Great talk show TV – I say!)

I digress…

…A typical Maury episode:

Woman does not know who her "baby daddy" is so she turns up to test Man 1: her boyfriend and Man 2: Her boyfriend’s friend (A drunken mistake)

Woman: "You are the daddy, you are the daddy!" (she is so self assured and confident) "You were the only one..."

Maury: “You are not the father!” x2

*cue her boyfriend cry and his friend breaking out in the running man.

Women’s turn up again this time with Man 3: Her ex (Man 1)'s other friend and man 4: Her ex’s twin brother (Another drunken mistake):

Women: "I'm real sure, there was no body else..." (not as self assured as before)

Maury: “You are not the father!” x2

*again cue men breaking out in the running man, plus doing cartwheels.

Women turns up for the third time with man 5: Her ex (man 1)'s other brother and man 6: Her ex’s cousin; plus (because things are getting desperate) man 7: Her ex’s cousin (Man 6)'s cousin!:

Women: "I just need to know!" (tears and head down)

Maury:  “You are not the father!” x3

* Scenes of Jubilation – (Picture the South African World Cup) Vuvuzela’s blown in unison, singing and dancing –general hysteria of a joyful nature!

If you don't believe me check this out:

Your probably wondering what is my point.

Well when watching these shows a lot of the time the women say they want to know because they believe their child needs a father no.1 and no.2  has a right to know who their biological father is.

A bit of research regarding paternity issues has brought up some interesting history in regards to ‘paternity fraud’ or ‘misattribution of paternity’:
“Misattributed paternity refers to the non-judgemental identification of children who have a biological father other than the man who thinks he is the biological father. Professor Michael Gilding estimated a rate for the total population of 1%-3%, and identified possible rates for "at risk" (broken families)  groups of perhaps 10% or more.
Paternity fraud refers to cases where men, and/or an agency, are deceived in order to obtain money from them, for example via the child support system. Whether there are any such cases in the population that are not at risk depends on one's definition. There are certainly cases of paternity fraud in the at-risk population, and some are well known. Indeed, there is the likelihood that paternity fraud goes back at least 400 years in England!”
It’s nothing new, for century’s women have been passing off children "conceived out" (of the marriage or relationships) as their husbands or partners; so in a strange sense those women on Maury should be applauded for having the guts to admit their mistake in the face of extreme ridicule and for trying to rectify the issue by finding out the true biological father of their child. Or is it just a case of Paternity Fraud?

Also I think in the celebrity world paternity is power why else would certain women end up with babies from celebs or men in high power when all the signs said he is not going to marry you:
Little Waynes baby mamas or Monaco's Prince Albert and Nicole Coste the scenerio is different say to these women I Want To Be Your Baby Daddy who I wrote about in a previous post, having babies with a non celebrity and possibly a jobless man you will not reap the benefits!

Anyway, I wondered have any of you ever experienced a situation akin to a Maury Povich show. Any men out there been the victim  of paternity deception or fraud? How did you cope? What was the outcome? Any women out there want to admit and discuss their own misattribution of paternity and the reason for it? Also has any of you BDSS'ers experienced finding out your father was not your biological father? 
Finally which is worse,  not knowing your biological father at all or knowing that your mother appeared on national TV and tested numerous men in the search for him?


  1. The thing that gets me about the Maury programs is that the women never come out and just say hand's up I slept with two men In one week and I am unsure who the father is. They always come out 100% sure and all fired up, pointing at facial features saying look at that nose my baby has his nose, the results are read and then it goes pair-shaped and cue the embarassment.

    I do think that a child has a right to know who their parents are. Even if its just a name or some background history at the very least if they are unable to grow up with or meet them. knowing your roots is so important.

    I was reading the following piece the other day about a man who was unsure of if he was a father or not, to summerise, when the woman he was seeing found out she was pregnant she was not sure who the father was as she had also slept with someone else. She decided that the latter guy would make the better father and the man in the article agreed to not check paternity but to let her raise the son with this other more responsible man. 13 years on he is still wondering whether he is the father or not.

    Needless to say the comments on the article were extremely critical of him and the childs mother.

    I know of one man who found out a child was not his and it was an extremely painful experience.He could not understand why someone would lie to him for years on end, allow him to bond with a child.

    I think seeking the truth is a more noble thing to do, than lying for years on end hoping that your husband or partner does not find out you were unfaithful.

  2. I have experienced this however, flicking the channels two days ago, i flicked on Jeremy Kyle who i have no time for, his show just about him thinking he is a relationship expert and name calling folks which sometime they deserve. So the show was about a girl that want to know who her father was and mummy dearest didn't want her to know who he was i don't know and sent her on a wild goose chase giving the wrong men. I thought why the heck is she doing that because should she rekindle her relationship it won't involve her and sending your own child on a wild goose chase that's just really mean, this woman didn't seem at all bothered that she had hurt her daughter.
    I also know a lady from my church who was give up for adoption by her mother, cut 30 years she went to find her mother, she found her and what this woman say, i don't want you coming round here, i have another family and i don't want anything to do with. I felt bad for her because she wants to be feel that she belongs to someone. If not for wanting to know who you came from most importantly about diseases, bone marrow, if you family carry any genetic things breast cancer or any cancer.
    The lady in the post really that how many people you got down with, ew she is loose as a goose. Your body is a temple treat as such as a Christian the bible teaches about how to treat your body, Romans 12:1-2, 1st Corinthians 6:16-20

  3. I once heard of a case where a young woman turned up at the funeral of an elderly unmarried man who was apparently childless. It turned out that she was in fact his daughter and proceeded to lay claim to his estate. The man had fathered a child out of wedlock unknown to his parents, brothers and sisters.
    Now of course there is the danger that unknowingly half- brothers could marry half- sisters. So it is most important to know your biological father.

  4. Hello John sorry we took so long to publish you comment!

    Wow that is an interesting story and the thing about possibly marrying your half brother or sister is very true, I have read a few stories myself about people finding out the person they are with is a long lost sibling.