Words of wisdom from the other side......

There have been a few rare occasions that I have been given words of wisdom or insight into the ways men think about women from men, some of these have stood out more to me than being a mere subject of debate but have actually made me think and I will share them with you.

"Women are like ships they need a pirate to take them over"

Having heard this my initial reaction was WTF!! Pirates, ships? It made no sense other than being the arrogant words of an egotistical man, but looking back I have thought about what brought this man to such a conclusion about the opposite sex. Having spent time as a single lady I would often ask myself the following questions:

When will I meet the one?

Why are all the good men not coming my way?

Why doesn't he have the WHOLE package?

Why am I still single!!!!!???

The truth is I was meeting nice men, the problem was ME, I wanted a relationship, but for all the WRONG reasons. Rather than valuing what I had to offer and matching this up with a potential hubby, I spent far too much time in the imaginary fairy tale land that I loved so much as a child....

Prince Charming sweeps me 'Cinderella' off her feet, loves her for her, but comes with the whole package which she falls in love with, and they all live happily ever after - THE END.

Now if only it was so simple of course it isn't like that at all!! So many women like myself - of old, want a man to take over. It usually starts very simply, boy meets girl, boy calls, boy and girl go out for a few dates. Boy and girl realise that they have loads in common, boy says the right things and pushes the right buttons to literally push the buttons, girl cares more and boy knows it. Sometimes this works, they have a loving relationship work together as a team and enjoy the delights that the future brings. But sometimes after the 'boy knows it part' the girl puts all her eggs in one basket and the boy starts dropping them one by one.

Men will often test us ladies especially after they have got the kitty to see how far they can push us, they enjoy the chase and more often than not if we are one step ahead they will be at our mercy, if on the other hand we allow them to become pirates of our ships oh lawdy! That's when we leave ourselves open to ALL sorts of drama. I've seen it done, and had it done to me and it ain't nice at all. Pirates are treacherous always looking for treasure and trashing the rest of the ship - totally out of control. It starts in all sorts of ways, perhaps he doesn't call when he says he would, girl calls straight away, after all she's been waiting, anticipating his call. He doesn't answer, he hasn't forgotten but wants to test her, yep she's failed the first test! Instead of calling her girls, or going out and missing his call when he decides to call because she is so busy, she yearns to get that man on her ship again, and this consumes her.

He of course obliges to see her, but, when he is ready, not when she wants which is an hour after he decides to call, nah he will leave her for a few days more, playing it smart, and knowing that the longer he leaves this ship, the more she will yearn for him to get all the treasure he needs. This includes, a nice cooked dinner, massage, a bit of chat, and the rest.....and most importantly no repercussions of not sticking to his words.

This sort of behaviour will continue, missed phone calls, late night visits without prearranging them first, after all he knows she's waiting on him (her 10 daily text messages prove this), and he no longer has to spend money on dates, she is just happy to see him.

Yes she will moan to her girls that he is a dog, cheap and just using her, yep we ladies like to vocally air what we know is true, hell yeah, we will repeat the same thing about the same man day in day out. But following our own advice is a very different story. We will moan to the guy that you need more than this, we may even say the LOVE word just to let him know how serious we are. He of course is laughing, he has got this ship just where he wants it, he doesn't even need to worry about another pirate taking over this one, when he disappears for a week or two.

On the other hand had we played this pirate at his own game as my wise mother says "monkey see, monkey do" this man wouldn't want to even be the pirate, he would want to be the captain of your ship, with YOU. Missed phone call or dates, are punishable offences! Don't run him down! He knows what he has done, he's an adult. Getting on with your life shows him that you had a life before him and will have one thereafter. This will make him think, and he will be more eager to please and won't be doing that again in a hurry. Late night nightly booty calls, just turning up late, hell nah! You have beauty sleep to catch up on, on things to do! Make a man respect your time not think it's his right to dip in and out of it when he wants! Wanting to chill in your house whenever you see each other, NO WAY! I've learnt that we women should start as we mean to go on, if you want to be stuck indoors for many years then sure go ahead chill, but this will become an issue later down the line - trust me.

So I will end this post with the words of a man that I was moaning to once, and he said this to me which changed my whole perspective.

"A man will only treat you how you allow him to treat you"

Straight from the horses mouth! So simple, and yet so true! So ladies captain your ships with a strong heart, believe me there are many pirates out there!