Friday, 22 October 2010
MadeForMakeUp talks singledom...
Is there such a thing as “single for too long”?
As I read my girls post about causal relationships:The BDSS: The Art Of Keeping It Casual! and posted my comments I got to thinking about being single for too long. Then I wondered, is there such a thing? Is there a time limit on singledom? Does anyone get the single itch or have you ever done so, and what was the outcome? Is there relationship etiquette?
From these questions you maybe be able to tell that I have been happily single for a while.
Now although I'm happy there are some pitfalls that being single for too long has brought me:
I find that I am way way over the hill too picky -of course there’s the I don’t like smokers and they have to come from a good family type idea of an ideal mate. I also find swearing like a sailor, bad dress sense, bad manners, long nails and bad shoes a turn off!
My pet hate is the “Have you seen me before, because I have seen you looking at me ”… no I have not seen you! Lol
Especially coming from someone you wouldn’t ever think twice at looking at.
I find I have this attitude and look “of please don’t approach me”, I don’t know if that is because I am scared of what will happen next; I also I find I’m excited about someone for a very short time and then it goes away.
For me now men are like sweets, you see them, you enjoy the flavour and once that’s gone I’m happy.
I feel like getting to know someone is a chore, all the thoughts that go on in my head before you even get to the date and do I even want to let someone into my life? the answer is yes but where do I begin?
Now the upside of being single for too long, (this part I love because I have a great attitude about it, so I think!):
I have becomes friends with being single, it bothers me not much until I read this post: then questions fell out of me like a rain fall.
I mean I enjoy my own company; I don’t feel like I have impress anyone but myself. I feel like I don’t have to answer to anyone, nor have any expectations of a man or his expectations of me, I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, I appreciate my own company, I do what I like, when and how I like. I don’t argue with anyone, I don’t get jealous, I don’t get disappointed!
Right now I can’t be bothered to try and that is my single selfish prerogative and I’m happy that my sense of self is not compromised. There is a lot of “I” in this section and I guess that is the upside of being single, it’s the “I” and not the “WE” in this me relationship.
I’ve learned to know what I really want out of a relationship and learned I don’t have to settle at all.
I used to have race issues but being single has taught me to let down that stereotype and appreciate men of all races. Being alone does not and doesn’t mean being lonely. For me it’s being secure, happy, confident, bold and selfish with myself.
In the end when it comes time to choosing my b.f, I feel I am not clouded by past relationship nor am I defined by them, I know I can carry on being single if needs be until the right man comes along or me being the right woman for the right man.
So ladies and gents what do you think? Is there such a thing as being single for too long?
Signed happily single MadeForMakeUp