OH - MY - DAYS. This is probably one of the hardest things in my life that I find myself having to do on a frequent basis. Whether it be at work; "how are you today?" (com'on now, you really don't business about what's going on in my life), with your mum; "now, I won't tell you I told you so..." ("too late, genius!") or a personal favourite of mine; "babes, I was thinking we should ..." ("I swear I suggested the same thing weeks ago!!")
Now, I'm the kind of person that becomes extremely irritable during those moments I'm having to bite my tongue and the joke is that most times I'm having to do so literally. Most times, you try and act out a certain scenario in your mind to it's entirety and realising that it won't bode well to let your mouth run with the wind you do everything in your power to abstain. But then there are times when my teeth falter and my tongue runs riot and ends up giving the subject a regrettable lashing!!
There are many, many examples of this predicament in previous posts on this blog and I'm finding that the older I get, the more I find myself doing it for peace's sake. For example, it really does nark me when someone asks for your opinion, only to have already decided that they weren't going to listen anyways but what do you do? You . . .
Bite your tongue!
Since we spend most of our lives at work, many unrighteous incidents are 'allowed' as it would seem unsavoury or confrontational to react in the manner we would do outside of work walls. We witness a set of rules for us and another for the rest but what can you do - we have to put up with t (to a certain extent) because we want that cheque, so you . . .
Bite your tongue!
Being an elder of the family, some aunties/uncles/parents seem to believe that no matter how old we are, or experiences we've gone through ourselves, they always know best and have the answer. The worst ones for me is when this is done publicly and in front of other family members. Swearing blind she gave a CD to me at a fundraising event, my mother was relentless at telling me to unpack a whole heap of boxes as I must have misplaced it, because she knows she doesn't have it. She was so convincing she go me doubting my own memory and the other aunts/uncles/relatives almost scolding me for not wanting to aimlessly look for it. Needless to say, IT WAS IN HER BAG the WHOLE TIME!! But up until then, no one would have it because she said so. So what was I to do other than . . .
BITE YOUR TONGUE!! (and man, was that hard!)
Now I'm sure I'm not the only one who has to contend with this on what seems like a daily basis. Everyone at some point has some real trouble holding their tongue but not for want of trying, it sometimes proves impossible. How much can you withstand? Or do you let your tongue rip regardless of the consequences (if so, I envy you!)
Oh Debs I feel you on this post!
ReplyDeleteI'm at work and biting my tongue now with my boss lol!
Oh Sel ... I feel your pain!! lol
ReplyDeleteWhen writing the post, I had to ask myself if I was over-exaggerating when I said I'm having to do it everyday; turns out it's an under-exaggeration!!
I've had a real test of temperament today that I really had to dig deep for - picture me saying "ha-woo-saaah" whilst rubbing my earlobes to keep calm (as in the Bad Boys movie!!) When I'm faced with plain old rudeness (as I was today) I really, really have to dig deep because otherwise, I would have given them some level of rudeness to aspire to!!!
I agree to a certain degree and don't get me wrong saying what you really feel must be done with care because you may end up saying far too much or it may be taken the wrong way. However if it has to be said picking the right time is important, it's never easy to be truthful with someone, you have to wrestle with "what suppose no one says anything and they carry on"? and "is it even my place to speak up and all that"?, at the risk of breaking friendships, bf's, husband/wives, sisters, brothers etc,answer is I don't know but if whomever is putting my nose out of joint I'll let you know about it also depends on the type of relationship you have with that person/people. Someone people are easier to talk to than others... however I wouldn't do that to my mother she still can slap me & I prefere to not mess with my queen lol
ReplyDeleteYes you don´t want to bite the hand that feeds you, even when it seems like they deserve it! lol
ReplyDeleteI agree, its about timing, who your dealing with, and the kind of relationship you have with the person. Also if saying what you really think/feel is worth the backlash! 9 times out of 10 it is not worth it - but on the other hand you can´t just let foolishness occur!
I think also your intentions need to be correct, like am I saying this to be a bitch or is it really for a greater good??
This is the precise reason I titled it 'biting your tongue' as it's what we find ourselves doing until we are able to find the right words to say.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if you do happen to find the right thing to say it probably makes sense to try and approach. Although with some people or situations, it's unfortunately easier said than done in this world of pretence that we live in.
Indeed and sometimes silence is golden
ReplyDeleteEspecially where our 'know it all' elders are concerned - lol!!
ReplyDeleteWell I use to hate confrontations, and I tended to bite my tongue quite often, but this was getting me down so if it is something that is very major and bothering me to the extent that I am constantly moaning about it, (to other people) I will say something, as difficult as it may be.
ReplyDeleteIf I really don't want the confrontation I will write an email as I find this is much easier for me. Sometimes I forget important points that I want to raise when I have conversations and still end up with the original issues!
I'm with you on that one Bi - I always seem to get caught up in the heat of arguments and only until after do I remember the killer point that I had!! lol
ReplyDeleteI'm also a lot more articulate on paper/email when angry, as I get all flustered and incoherent!!