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Friday, 24 September 2010

Conversations With A Babyfather...

Following on from the previous post The BDSS: I Want To Be Your Babyfather...

Whilst it raised a consensus amongst the BDSS that none of  us could possibly imagine being baby mother number 5, 8, 11 or 13! We all would be willing to engage with a man who has  children from previous relationships/liasons depending on the type of male he is (i.e., preferably in employment,  contributing to the child/children´s upbringing both financially, emotionally, taking care of their welfare and all that other good father stuff)!

We also agreed that it is the children who are likely to suffer in a situation like the one in the article and if you check the comments someone even envisioned baby mother fights and all sorts because of the father not being able to provide for all his 15 children!

However I think the issue brings up more  questions than answers that frankly the BDSS are not equipped to answer ourselves, I think we need a male perspective or something…

Luckily I did have the opportunity to talk with a male, who lets say is an older gentlemen who himself has a number of children by a few women, (obviously not to the extreme of the man from the article)! 

Me and my fellow BDSS Sel were having a conversation about cheating with this man and during the conversation he alluded to the fact that as a male with a number of children by different women it can make starting relationships not so easy, in fact I think he may have used the word  HINDRANCE! lol 

Now he did clarify he was not saying his children themselves are a hindrance to him, but attached to the fact he has so many children by a few women is the idea that he is some kind of playboy, the idea that women may not take him seriously now because of it.

Which he said when he was  younger he did not even consider the consequence (Maybe he thought himself virile- lol!).

It was really one of them ´ been there and done that´ kind of conversations and the crux of it all was that now with hindsight he wished he had all his children with just  one women!  In fact he said he would not recommend multiple babymothers at all! (I love a male perspective!) :-D

It was great hearing this perspective, unfortunately me and Sel did not explore it further, because as I said we were talking about something else so the conversation took a different focus...

But I would love to carry on the conversation now because I know this is just one male´s opinion and there are probably other males out there who have a totally different perspective. 

So guys help us BDSS´s out with more useful insights into your babymother drama! 

We promise to be nice if you promise to be honest and tell us what is up with multiple children by multiple women, the BDSS are all ears…

p.s, We know it takes two to tango, so women feel free to jump on board with your comments! (and we are aware of the Urika Johnson´s out there guys so don´t think we´re male bashing!)

1 comment:

  1. That conversation was very insightful as I had assumed after knowing this person for a number of years that maybe this person had no desire to settle down with one woman, the reality of his situation was that its not easy. Which gave me a new understanding of this person.

    This whole post has got me wanting to dig out a copy of babyfather the book! lol! Do you remember it and the tv program of it?

    The current news just goes to show its something thats happening in all communities.